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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friendship after trauma

3 replies

cantdecide1 · 16/01/2019 15:32

I know most of you will hate me but I am trying to understand things myself and stay on the right path. I am married with 2 children, not that happy but not that unhappy. My husband spends too much money in the pub and does little to help which is a cause of resentment, i work 2 jobs to keep afloat. I have also caught him logged into online hook up sites in the past. He was on last chance when 2 tragedies hit my side of the family and hit me hard. I started drinking and going off the rails i think i really was going a bit crazy. But then i met someone, who became a friend. He was very sensible and a steadying influence upon me. My husband likes to drink heavily and didn't see that i was spiralling out of control and i forgot his issues. Now this is the bit you wont like..he is happily married. However we were only friends but we would text each other most days several times a day. Now..you would say on here it was a emotional affair but i am not so sure because we never discussed really personal stuff.. we exchanged jokes, chatted about mundane stuff and he supported me through some dark days. he told me repeatedly that he loved his wife so that I couldn't think any more had i wanted to, but we remained friends for 7 months.. never really seeing each other face to face. someone almost saw one of his messages and he decided although there was nothing romantic between us. His wife would be hurt so he has ended the friendship. I miss him terribly but respect his decision and know more so he is the good man I respected him to be. The mumsnet ladies always say these things become physical and the man wants sex or to use the woman.. but I was a mess and he was just kind to me.. no more no less and i am saddened to be without him. however i know it is the right thing. I haven't fully dealt with my issues, that is my problem and i have no idea really why i am posting this because i know the reception i get wont be pleasant. Maybe you can think of something that makes me miss this friendship less by roasting me?

OP posts:
Myheartbelongsto · 16/01/2019 15:36

Are you still drinking op

jessstan2 · 16/01/2019 15:37
Flowers I'm so sorry. It's good that you had a friend, a good one who demanded nothing, for a while. Cherish that thought. Neither of you did anything wrong so no roasting from me.

You have to sort your domestic situation out though, cantdecide1. It's not right for you to be so very sad. x

cantdecide1 · 16/01/2019 15:39

No not drinking, he talked a lot of sense into me. My friends think i fell in love with him but dont you love a really good friend in a way. I do miss him terribly.

OP posts:
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