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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I jump before I'm pushed?

34 replies

TulipPower · 16/01/2019 11:29

I've NC for this. Been a long-time poster but don't want to be outed.

Yesterday my DP was really quiet all day. He's self employed and works at home, I work in an office 9-5 (yawn!). When I got home, he confronted me with a letter from the mobile phone company, which he claims he opened as he 'assumed' it was for him.

Basically I changed accounts and cancelled my direct debit, resulting in missing the payments. I paid online last week, just thinking the whole amount would be included. Turns out only the airtime bill was, not the device plan, hence the letter telling me to pay it ASAP. For what it's worth, it was £26.

I called them up and paid it, but was made to put the phone on speaker so he could hear the conversation.

DP then started saying how I needed to change my address to my mum's, because he wasn't having these letters, threatening to take HIS house, at HIS address (£26 ffs!).

He owns the house outright, no mortgage. I've lived there nearly 6 years, pay the bills and food. My bank and phone contract are registered there, obviously, and I am on the electoral roll at the address.

He's always been a bit funny, but this has almost switched a light on for me; the last few months he's checked very regularly I've been on my pill, asked me several times to confirm I'd have a termination if I became pregnant, and started using WhatsApp (super unusual as he hates all of that, I don't have it). We've DTD perhaps twice in the last four months, instead he'll ask me to 'service' him.

This to me now is like a massive red flag. I don't have access to anything, his phone/computer etc., so I can't see if anything is up.

Any advice out there? Seriously starting to think he's up to something..

OP posts:
Mousetolioness · 17/01/2019 07:02

'Service' him? Speaks volumes really. Yuk...

Weenurse · 17/01/2019 07:07

Run far away

Bluntness100 · 17/01/2019 07:11

Service him, god are you agreeing? Romance eh.

Yes, I'd jump, he's horrible to you. Jump then run.

SandyY2K · 17/01/2019 07:15

He doesn't want you accidentally getting pregnant, because he doesn't want to be tied to you forever. Chances are he's up to no good and may have told his new love interest he doesn't sleep with you anymore...so you getting pregnant would not look good.

Blow jobs give him no risk pleasure.

Pack your stuff and leave. He hasn't got the guts to end it, but is hoping you will by him treating you so badly.

All you need to say is "this isn't working for me anymore and your actions say it's not working for you either"

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 17/01/2019 07:21

Yeah jump!

"Service him" ugh!

Notunderstanding · 17/01/2019 07:25

You need to leave him. In the mean time while you get your ducks in a row. What network are you on? 3 do paperless and have an app you get a notification when your bill is ready. Can you do things like this so he doesn't open your post

MumsyJ · 17/01/2019 08:02

If only he knew some people could get pregnant whilst on the pill... What a controlling freak!
Don't just jump, fly as well, he's no good for you. How disrespectful; " service me" what's next on his order, an MOT?🤨

TulipPower · 17/01/2019 09:20

Thanks everyone for making me see I'm not imagining anything.

He asked me to wank him off last night. I said I wanted a bath so did that instead. It's absurd.

I've a 3 month notice period at my current job, so have started looking for work closer to my family (100+ miles away) and once that's sorted I'll hand my notice in here.

I feel like I'm being played for an absolute mug!!

OP posts:
TulipPower · 17/01/2019 09:21

Thanks everyone for making me see I'm not imagining anything.

He asked me to wank him off last night. I said I wanted a bath so did that instead. It's absurd.

I've a 3 month notice period at my current job, so have started looking for work closer to my family (100+ miles away) and once that's sorted I'll hand my notice in here.

I feel like I'm being played for an absolute mug!!

OP posts:
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