I need to get out

[hello002]

I am a bloke in an abusive relationship and I need to get out. We have two small kids, and there is no question that she is a good mum, she loves the kids and has NEVER EVER done anything towards the kids that have made me concerned or worried. However, towards me things are very different, I spent most of Christmas with a black eye. I am finally ready to leave, the problem is, I don’t have the money for a deposit to rent a flat or the furniture to fill that flat. I love my kids and don’t want to leave, and I am very worried that I will never get to see them again. I keep my fingers crossed that we can agree 50/50 custody. Does anyone know of any furnished, 2+ bedroom flats/houses in Swansea (preferably the Uplands, Swansea)?

Sorry you are in this situation.
Please contact Mankind.
Link to their webist
They should be able to help you with an exit plan.
Do you have any friends or family you could stay with?
What is the current housing situation?
Rented? Mortgage? In both names?

I didn’t want to read and run. What an awful situation for you. Agree with the PP, contact the link posted. Get the help and support you need to get out of that relationship.

Wishing you the best of luck. X

She is not a good mother if she abuses their father.

Report the assault to the police. It might be useful for you to have it on record. Do you both work outside the home?

So sorry to hear this. My brother is in an abusive situation but refuses to face up to it. The shame he feels is palpable.

Your first priority is going to be to find somewhere to live. If you don't have any money you will have to go via your local housing department and explain that you are in an abusive relationship and need to get out. There is no magic wand that will conjure a 2 bed flat out of nowhere.

Alternatively you can report her violence to the police and apply to the courts to have her removed from the family home.

There is no quick-fix easy way out of this unless you pack a bag and walk out with nowhere to go, which many women do.

Just seen on another thread, holiday flats etc are cheap this time of year as low season, could you rent something like this short term whilst you get sorted. Also, go to the police. Stay strong and get out. Good luck

I'm so sorry op, please take kids with u. Talk to the council, don't put up with this crap. If I was your friends, sister mother etc would go to slap her and kick her out. No woman would live the kids with an abusive partner. Sorry xx

Report the assault to the police, she moves out with either bail conditions or a dvpo and you stay with the kids. You're already sounding like your facilitating her and putting her before you. Screw that. She's assaulted you. Stand up for your kids if you can't do it for yourself.

Sorry you are in this awful situation OP. Hope you manage to find a way to leave. As well as holiday flats there are usually holiday caravans to let at very low rents at this time of year - there should be plenty near you. Good luck.

Thank you for everyone's kind words and advice. There is a lot to think about. My hope is 2019 will be a good year...

This is awful - I'm so sorry. I agree with reporting it to the police. Ask your family for support.

Please report her OP.

A good friend of mine lost her brother-in-law to domestic violence. He was murdered by his DW following years of escalating violence.

Their DC lost both parents as she was jailed for a very lengthy sentence. Such an awful situation.

Please take care. So sorry you are going through this.

Aaww OP . Please seek the above mentioned authorities for help/ advice. Your partner should be ashamed of herself. I wouldn't want kids near an abusive person for the safety of their mental and physical wellbeing.
I hope you find peace of mind soon. Goodluck.

Hi,

I thought I would give everyone a happy ending.

First, thank you, everyone, for all your support and kind words. I am now living in my own flat, it has no carpets and I have no money to buy some, but at least im out of the situation.

I see the kids daily and the relationship with them is good and strong. They currently do not stay over, as the lack of carpets makes it hard to keep the house clean and warm. But that will change as I slowly save the money to get some.

Most of the furniture has been donated by friends and family, missing a few bits and pieces (like an iron) but I do not care.

I'm happy, the kids are happy and the ex-partner - who cares.

You'll get there OP...good on you🌠

Well done. Crowdfund your carpets and get the kids over sooner I say.