2 years since divorce - will my children ever forgive me?

[IdontknowwhyIcallhimGerald]

I have adult children (mixture of NT and ASD) who simply cannot forgive me for leaving their Dad after a 25 year marriage. One of them has cut me off completely and the others are distant. I realise it was a terrible shock when I left. They had no idea it was coming. But they were grown up with lives of their own and had either moved out or were about to. I left because he was abusive but never told them because it was inappropriate. They think the sun shines out of him and I'm selfish. I feel so hurt. I have apologised over and over again for everything. For things I got wrong, for anything and everything that might just make them like me again. I'm not perfect, I totally get that. I'm very flawed and although I did my best it wasn't enough. Will they ever forgive me?

You did the right thing for you. One day they will realise that.
Kids can be very selfish and they are at an age when the stability they thought was always there has gone. Maybe you need to tell them of some of the abuse, you can bet that your ex has. He has put all the blame on you and they are believing him right now.
They will come round but it will take time. You just need to be brave and strong for a little longer. Xx

One day THEY WILL understand. Until then just crack on with your life and finding happiness.

All you can do is reiterate that you love them and that you had to do what you had to do. Their relationship with their father is different to your relationship with them and they should respect that. You didn't tell them about him being abusive as you were trying to protect them knowing at the time. Hopefully one day they will realise you did nothing wrong at all. xx

Stop apologising to them. You've done nothing wrong.

The thing is, your marriage isn't really any of their business. They're adults, they shouldn't be taking sides. It makes me wonder what your ex has said to them. It's a very immature attitude they are taking tbh, you are very justified to feel hurt and frustrated.

Honestly I would leave them alone for a bit, but keep communication open with birthday cards and the like. When there is the opportunity, you must tell them the truth. If they see fit to make a judgement on you ending your marriage, then it's only right they have the full facts at their disposal.

Thank you, I really appreciate this.

Firstly, well done you. I am sure you didn’t make the decision lightly and i admire your courage after raising a family and 25 years together. I also admire you for choosing to protect your children and not telling them all, maybe you could just let them know enough for them to understand why you simply could not stay. Mum always gets the best and the worst. Forge ahead and make your new life a happy one away from the toxic abuse. I am sure they will gradually come round. Good luck x