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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Falling out with parents

2 replies

MB1080 · 15/01/2019 23:24

I have never really had a good relationship with my mother, overtime this is something I have just came to accept.

However when I got engaged her whole attitude changed. She demanded to have full raine over my wedding, sometimes I jsut give in others I fought my corner.
However our relationship really changed when her cousins daughter caused a massive stink at my hen do in front of my in laws; friends and work colleagues. I got the blame from my mother for it and we didnt speak for a few months. Even though the daughter did this I did not uninvite them to my wedding however she and her family all pulled out a week before the wedding costing me nearly £1000 stating they felt awkward for the way I treat them. They have yet since gone on to call me to various members of the family making up lies which has got back to my work place.

On the morning of my wedding my mother never spoke to me. She wore white and refused to show me her outfit until I walked down the aisle. She never spoke to any of my bridesmaids whilst getting ready. She ignored my in laws and other family members. On the day I never let it bother me but when I later spoke with her she stated she was upset but never gave me a reason why.

I recently found out I was pregnant and told them about this. She has not made any effort to come and see me, they went away on holiday over xmas and never told me.
It's all came to a head recently when I went to around to theirs yet again my mother said I made no effort and needed to come and see her. My hormones are all over the place to start with and it has just got too much. She has blamed me yet again for everything that has happened. I then found out that the daughter who caused all the trouble is getting married, she has invited the whole family bar myself. I am not too bothered about this but when I asked my mother if she was going she said yes. I explained my feelings about how they have treat me and how I kept them at my wedding. Her reply well I dont care. I am so hurt by this, I have had to cut all ties with her as yet again my feelings are pushed to one side. The last thing she said to me before she hung up was that she hopes my child hurts me more than I have hurt her.

I am at a lose end now Im due to give birth and this is the last thing I need!!

OP posts:
ChristmasFairy2018 · 16/01/2019 10:10

Sounds like you need some space - I would back off from your mum and focus on your own baby. With a new baby you won't have much time to worry about of this. So park it until you are in a stronger state mentally. Save all your energy for your lovely new born.

CallMeRachel · 16/01/2019 10:15

I'm sorry you didn't get the mother you should have.
Have you checked out stately homes thread on here? Good support for those with toxic or dysfunctional families.

I think you need to focus inward to yourself and your child and partner and block out all your family.

It's very difficult to change people's opinions after you've been cast a certain role. Your mothers behaviour has been horrendous in itself and certainly warrants her being cut off for the wedding alone.

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