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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel like I’m going insane...

24 replies

Bushbaby85 · 15/01/2019 21:51

Help!
My husband has joined the police and works away Monday to Friday currently training.
We have 3 month old baby; and whilst I understand he has tests both practical and MCQ’s and has to study as well as polish boots etc etc; I have to look after the baby full time.
I love the baby very much and DO NOT resent looking after her.
When he come home at the weekend he shows little interest in her beyond holding her when I need to shower or cook etc. He’ll sit playing games on his phone when he’s holding her rather than giving her his full attention.
I understand when he comes home he wants a break from work and to relax even though he may still have to study somewhat. But what happens is he comes home and doesn’t do any housework and wants to have sex and constantly wants to touch and kiss and hug me.
I feel super touched out after being with my LO all day, every day and I am also somewhat sleep deprived. I love my husband but the idea of being intimate right now is unbearable (not helped by my episiotomy scar which is still sensitive) and so he thinks I’m being a cow because he’s only home at weekends and I won’t smother him with love.
He seems to think I have it easy whilst he works away.
I don’t know what to do :(
I don’t even know what I’m asking; I just need some opinions on the situation because I feel like I’m being unreasonable but I can’t help how I feel about the sex and how I feel very un-sexual at this time.
We also have pets which I need to take care of too whilst he is away.
I guess I just feel under appreciated and overwhelmed. :(

OP posts:
Boysandbuses · 15/01/2019 21:55

My dad and brother were in the police. The training part was very stressful.

I think you need to talk. I find when you have a new baby, both parents often feel The other has it easier and feel under appreciated and overwhelmed.

You need to take sometime to talk. He does need a break but so do and he needs to be more present when he is there

mumbojumb · 15/01/2019 22:04

I think you need to speak to him. When my baby was 3 months old it was very tiring and constant so I sympathise with you especially with you not having any help.
Do you get out much? Family/friends?
Definitely tell him about the sex issue and tell him it's too painful. Communication is key and it's important to be honest

Sensitive1985 · 15/01/2019 22:05

Hi OP,

Sorry you’re having a rough time. Have faith though, you’ll get things back on track.

I’m wondering what you think would help you feel differently about sex right now? What would you need to see or hear or feel?

Rather than you focusing on his needs, take a moment to think about what would work for you. Eroticism is about allowing yourself pleasure. What needs to happen for you to let that pleasure in for yourself?

X

DishingOutDone · 16/01/2019 00:15

What needs to happen for you to let that pleasure in for yourself - well, Sensitive (sic) I should imagine the OP would need a week's sleep in a hotel, all the housework done and a large glass of prossecco in a hot bath. Oh and a decent amount of time to heal from an episiotomy.

But then I am a grown up.

loolooskip · 16/01/2019 00:19

I’m wondering what you think would help you feel differently about sex right now? What would you need to see or hear or feel?Rather than you focusing on his needs, take a moment to think about what would work for you. Eroticism is about allowing yourself pleasure. What needs to happen for you to let that pleasure in for yourself?

Really? Hmm

NineInchSnail · 16/01/2019 00:31

Op, please ignore the poster encouraging you to try to have sex before you are ready. 3 months is no time at all really. Women who give birth without episiotomy or tearing often take longer than that to regain their libido.

Your dh is being a bit of an arse. But to be fair you'll both be very tired, and it does sound like he wasn't really prepared for how much this baby would change both your lives.

NineInchSnail · 16/01/2019 00:32

sensitive was being ironic when they chose their NN.

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 16/01/2019 00:38

Sensitive What? She looks after a 3 month old baby. Her husband works away and does fuck all to help when he's there, and she's had episiotomy. There's probably not a lot that will make her feel erotic at the moment ConfusedHmm

loolooskip · 16/01/2019 00:43

I didn't have sex with dh for four months. I was so tired and the thought made me feel sick.

He was cool with it and didn't try to grab me. Not being a massive, selfish shit and all.

loolooskip · 16/01/2019 00:45

Pleasure for me would have been getting more than an hour's chunk of sleep or having a back massage with nothing expected of me.

Not dh pounding away at my train wreck of a vagina. It hurt for months and it looked like 50 rhinos had stampeded out of it.

Tom Hardy with a fillet o fish on his knob wouldn't have made me feel erotic.

DishingOutDone · 16/01/2019 01:04

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LuckyPaws88 · 16/01/2019 09:39

Hey, I am the OP but with different NN
My husband is a good guy but he IS immature and came from a family where he never had to lift a finger, so trying to get him to do housework over the years we have been together has been a tough task....
Thanks for the replies so far; it does make me feel a bit better.
Because when we have tried Dec to be honest it’s done nothing me and the first time I was pretty upset :(
It’s good to hear people say 3months is still early because when he is home at the weekends I definitely feel like his focus is mainly on me and wanting sex. I just have absolutely no sexual feelings at all and I feel pretty disgusting body wise.
He bought me stockings and panties somehow thinking this would help.

We have tried to talk a little about it but I get upset and he doesn’t understand what I’d wrong and why I don’t want sex.

LuckyPaws88 · 16/01/2019 09:40

Sex** not dec!! 😂

LuckyPaws88 · 16/01/2019 09:45

having a back massage with nothing expected of me

This sounds good... he has said he doesn’t always need sex but wants us ‘just to be naked’ or whatever but I hate that because it’s never enough and he ends up just prodding my back with a massive hard on...... 😂😡

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/01/2019 09:50

I guess I just feel under appreciated and overwhelmed

I'm not bloody surprised! He obviously has no idea of how hard it is to look after a baby all day every day.

His expectations of sex on demand are totally unfair too.

To be honest, he sounds like a totally selfish shit.

He seems to think I have it easy whilst he works away.
I don’t know what to do

You need to sit down and half a calm conversation with him about everything you actually do every day, how tired you are, and your expectations of him actually acting like a parent when he's back at the weekend not just a 'baby holder' while you dash around having a shower etc.

He needs to realise that BOTH your lives have changed now that you are BOTH parents. Him training doesn't give him a get-out pass for his share of the responsibilities. And he's the one that has it easy during the week.

Do you have any family nearby who could help out a bit while he's away during the week? Even if it's just looking after the pets. It sounds as though you have way too much on your plate.

LuckyPaws88 · 16/01/2019 10:06

I do have family nearby but I feel guilty asking for help... sounds silly doesn’t it?
The reason I feel like I’m going insane is because i keep thinking I must be wrong/unreasonable to feel the way I’m feeling.
When we have tried speak about it I feel like I can’t articulate how I feel properly because I get too anxious.
My husband has always been very needy. Even he is aware of this.
His parents don’t live in this country so are unable to help (they are lovely people) but as prev mentioned it’s a family where the onus is very much on the mother to do everything.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/01/2019 10:10

Why not write down a list of everything you do for one day? Start with the times you wake up and tend baby through the night and include EVERYTHING including all pet care and how tired/stressed you're feeling.

Then share this with him. It means you won't have to try and remember everything when you talk to him.

I do worry that you feel so anxious talking to your husband though, you're supposed to be a team.

And please ask your family for help if there is some available, it sounds as though you're going to break otherwise!

Sensitive1985 · 16/01/2019 12:42

Hello everyone,

I firstly would like to briefly apologise if my post back to the OP has caused any upset or offence. That was absolutely not the intention. I was coming from a place of high intent.

I wanted to understand better from her perspective what would help her with the intimacy area of their relationship. Whether that be more appreciation, more affection, more help, more listening, more time... I was interested to know from the OP what she feels she would need.

It was initially a bit of a shock seeing the replies back to me. And ironically did feel a bit like being back at school! But then I recognised that those responses back to me were coming from a place of high intent as well, and we are all wanting to help this lady with the problem outlined.

OP - drawing my focus back to you, I sense that there is some difficulty that you may have in getting, or asking for, what you want. You mention feelings of guilt a couple of times. You don't need to feel guilty for your needs. Likewise, your partner shouldn't either. I think working on some confidence in asking for what you want and need will help.

I agree with the suggestion above at writing things down and go into the discussion with a plan. This has helped me at times.

I don't want to villainise your partner. I do not know him and he is not here to explain himself. But he would probably highly benefit from understanding things better from your perspective, without him feeling blamed or persecuted for making mistakes. As someone said, he is your partner and you are a team. He is also a person and can make mistakes and misjudgements. I suspect he doesn't really understand, however obvious it seems.

Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want, and it will come to you.

Good luck honey.
I hope that's helpful.

NineInchSnail · 17/01/2019 14:22

Sensitive
Sex is not a need. A man who puts pressure on a woman to have sex when she doesn't want to absolutely should feel guilty for his actions.

DishingOutDone · 17/01/2019 18:24

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Closetbeanmuncher · 17/01/2019 18:57

Its still early days and the healing downstairs is a long and painful process.

Having a child, is a traumatic and draining both mentally and physically. Explain to him that you need space sexually to heal and adjust.

Like other posters have said be honest that you're drained and would really appreciate some support - being away all week is not an excuse not to contribute to housework.

Are there any relatives or close friends who could look after the little one while you have some time out, maybe a nice spa day?

I hope the situation improves for you soon Flowers

LuckyPaws88 · 19/01/2019 00:35

He’s agreed to leave me alone in regards to sex currently because to be frank I didn’t look forward to him coming home because of it.
I just end up resenting him when he is here because he has never done any night feeds and then has the gall to complain he hasn’t been sleeping well :(

DishingOutDone · 20/01/2019 01:31

Aw now I can't remember what I said! Had I known i would have said something worthy of deletion!

Pollygasson24 · 20/01/2019 01:47

OP, I could have written your post, having had exactly the same experience, only difference being it wasn't the police. Tbh I dont think my dh has ever appreciated how easy he gets it, nor how how frustrating and depressing it is to be copied up to (just) for sex after a long week of looking after DC. He still doesn't get it, years down the line. Yours sounds exactly the same.

I'd second writing down everything you do. This might be the only way of getting across how little time you have your body to yourself. Get him to compare it to the time he gets to himself after a day at work, which no doubt involves socializing with colleagues, drinking, having meals made for him, not having to do any cleaning, etc. It's just not comparable, and if anything, he should be doing all the drudge when he's at home, so that you both get equal downtime in the week. Good luck though, my h never really saw it that way.

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