Woman at work

[Gerijrich]

So my partner of 14 years comes in and say do you mind if I put a curtain track up for ann who I work with. She suggested Tuesday but told I couldn't. Is it normal for a single woman to ask that of a man she has only worked with since June!! I know I am sensitive sometimes so thought I would ask

@Giesabreak perhaps she can see it as his wife wanting to meet a colleague? If there is no attraction/ lust she should not have an issue .. then again she should not have asked a married colleague. Talking to my sons, they said it would be common curtesy to ask for help and then add if your spouse or signaficant other is okay with it.
Some boundries you don’t cross and some to ask permission of sorts .. if that makes sense. Well to my sons it does 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s a bit odd. I wouldn’t be completely comfortable with this .

He wants to shag her.

Not odd. I think it's fine. This is odd - a colleague of my Ex's asked him to be a sperm donor for her Ivf. I put my foot down. 3 years later he walked out on me and the kids for her.

Find out her full name. That’ll give you a clue. Get worried if it’s one of:

Ann Opportunity
Ann Other-Woman
Ann D’job
Ann Summers

I don’t see the problem with you tagging along...especially if you’re popping into hers on the way somewhere else. If your DH and the colleague have no problem, there’s nothing to worry about...and you might make a new friend in the process. If DH says you can’t go, then, um, perhaps it is a little strange.

I wouldn’t be happy with this. I’d want to know why she was asking my DH and why she couldn’t get a handyman in. It starts with this and then progresses into other things. It would be a big fat no from me.

I had two male colleagues/friends help me move .. I’d only known one for 6 months at the time but we were good friends ! Totally innocent. ( we are still good friends now and it’s been 9 years)
Do you trust your Dh? If he’s just a nice helpful person I wouldn’t worry about it.. it would be a bit annoying if she had him do stuff for her every week though

Does shevlive close by?

Honestly I am very good friends with some work colleagues and have been a single parent. I haven't ever asked a work colleague to do some diy. I used Google and, off needed got a friend who was close by to help.

Did she ask or did he offer?

Asking him is weird if they don’t meet socially. Does she truly not know anyone else who could help her? I understand. It wanting to be ipma ladder on your own but hasntbsb whit any friends?

However, if she was moaning about it, as you do, and he offered, that’s a different story. That’s just him knowing he could help someone out and offering.

That should say
I understand not wanting to be up a ladder on your own but hasnt she got any friends?

Sounds like h is being helpful, is have zero objections to be honest!

I think this is weird, although it kind of depends on the work set up. If your DP works for Hilarys or John Lewis or any other company where his job is to go and fit curtain tracks/do DIY and Ann does something along admin lines, then it’s probably OK. In any other circumstances, and unless he offered, she’s being a CF (and I’m really surprised someone hasn’t already said this). Unless she’s a broke single parent with 6 kids why can’t she do it herself or pay someone? My DH is hopeless at DIY, so I either learn or outsource. I’d never ask a colleague or friend to give up their time with their family to do DIY for me.

It depends how the conversation went. If she went straight to him and said 'Gosh, I need to put curtains up, are you free to come over on Tuesday to do it', rude. If the conversation was about her bedroom, and how she'd love to show him her bed and then said that she had curtains to put up if he is interested, she's clearly after him.

If the conversation is that she's move ld in her new place, her dad was supposed to come and put the curtain up but broke his arm and does he know someone who could help and your OH says that he is happy to but will need to check with you when would be a good time, then fine.

He is telling you about it and didn't yet agreed a time, surely that shows he's got nothing to hide?

So OP, what did you say to your dp?

Is your husband a handyman?

good for your dh
what a nice thing to do.
curtain tracks are difficult

and he asked if you minded, which is good.
let him go

when i lived in a house share i asked a male flat mate to do the same for me,

Yes you are being over sensitive.

I had some male colleagues help me sometimes when I was single. I just needed the help. It never occurred to me that someones wife might have a problem with it actually, it was so totally innocent. I also would be fine if he brought his wife along.

explodingkitten Why male colleagues specifically?

This thread is all a bit odd! Don’t any of you do your own diy?

Do not whatever you do, tag along along. You’ll look like a right insecure tit.

I don’t see a problem with him doing this at all, what a nice man

Offer to go with him. My dh never does anything with/for colleagues and we live a few hundred yards from one. Doesn't even offer a lift.

It sounds fishy op. Go with him and see how she is with 'you' because if she is weird with you, or the atmosphere is generally awkward then you know she is flirting with your dh at work.

I´ve asked male colleagues for help before. Sometimes you need two people, or someone who is stronger than me, or just someone who is less talentless at DIY than me. I was neither hitting on them or planning to. It never even occurred to me that their wives might be bothered.