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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Man on POF question

28 replies

Amazonfromkent · 14/01/2019 22:13

Just wanted to ask your opinion. Man, 51, single, has a profile on Pof. No picture. He logs on almost daily, and has done for months. Looks at profiles of women 51 y o and older, but never messages. And do it goes on??? What does it mean???

OP posts:
PolkaDoting · 14/01/2019 22:15

Why do you care?

Changedname3456 · 14/01/2019 22:15

He’s a bit sad? Too shy to make contact with anyone? Why does it bother you?

Sprinkles212 · 14/01/2019 22:16

Are you said man? Or perhaps his wife/partner?

If you're the latter then he's not worth your effort. If you're the former, then perhaps you like to window shop?

Guiltypleasures001 · 14/01/2019 22:20

Might not be a guy, might be looking for or stalking someone

Amazonfromkent · 14/01/2019 22:22

I'm his ex....

OP posts:
Japanesejazz · 14/01/2019 22:25

He’s been dumped and is checking if his new ex is online

RLABC · 14/01/2019 22:26

I'm his ex In that case, why does it bother you?

Sprinkles212 · 14/01/2019 22:35

Amazonfromkent, why are you stalking his online activities? If you are no longer together then let it go. Don't drain your energy on tracking his movements, whatever the reason behind your split, it's done.

Also, how do you know he isn't messaging anyone? Do you have access to his account?

Please watch YOU on Netflix if you have it.....over the top perhaps but definitely a few home truths.

Changedname3456 · 15/01/2019 00:38

I was also going to ask how you know he’s not sending messages... you’re not hacking his POF account / email are you?

If so, stop now. You have no moral (or legal) right to do this. It’s obsessive and doesn’t reflect well on you. From a practical POV, it’s not going to help you get back with him, if that’s what you want (and I assume it is, or why are you so bothered)?

And if you did get it together again, he’d dump you on the spot if he ever found out about the stalker shite.

Peepingsnowdrops · 15/01/2019 00:45

How do you know ?

BeachtheButler · 15/01/2019 00:47

He does it because he knows it bugs you?

SparklyMagpie · 15/01/2019 00:56

If you're his ex, then why on earth does it matter and why are you even checking?

Walnutwhipster · 15/01/2019 00:56

To check on his stalker.

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/01/2019 03:49

How old are you? My first thought was that he was trying to find out if you are on there.

Amazonfromkent · 15/01/2019 06:22

@Pyongyang, I'm 45. No I don't think he's fussed about that. Also, had he not signed in to pof on my computer I wouldn't have been able to log on as him. I know I shouldn't.

OP posts:
category12 · 15/01/2019 06:36

Then why do you?

Are you sure it's not your own activity you're seeing!? Cos that would be hilarious.

But really. Stop.

ALittleBitConfused1 · 15/01/2019 06:52

You have no right to sign into his account and tbh and the fact that you do, and are posting on a public forum about it says far more about you than it does him. I'm glad for him that you're his ex it sounds like you need help and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Changedname3456 · 15/01/2019 07:25

Hit the logout option on his profile and then delete your browser cache to remove the temptation.

It’s not doing you any good at all to be stalking him like this.

Isth · 15/01/2019 07:28

What the fuck? You’re unhealthily obsessed here and you absolutely should be logging in as him (another one wondering if the activity you’re seeing is actually your stalking!). Log out, delete browsing history/passwords

SparklyMagpie · 15/01/2019 09:04

Oh my god if the activity was your stalking 😂😂😂

NameChangeNugget · 15/01/2019 11:15

Your behaviour isn’t normal OP.

Stop it!

Redwinemaestro · 15/01/2019 12:54

When I used POF few years ago, I did not have a photo in my profile. This was because I'm a lecturer in a university and many of my students were on the site too, and I didn't want to be the subject of classroom whispers and gossips. I made it clear in my profile the reason for no photo.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 15/01/2019 13:31

It means his ex is obsessed and she should stop stalking, she isn't a teenager

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 15/01/2019 13:39

You are likely to have committed at least two criminal offences. Under the Computer Misuse Act 1990, it is a criminal offence to use a computer to access information that you know you are not authorised to access. And under the Protection From Harassment Act 1997, it is a criminal offence to monitor the use by a person of the internet, email or any other form of electronic communication. Think about that for a minute - your behaviour is not just immoral (and a gross invasion of somebody else's privacy), it is a criminal act.

You need to ask yourself what is the matter with you, for you to act in this way. Because something is sure as hell wrong with you. Stalking an ex is abusive behaviour. You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror.

Amazonfromkent · 15/01/2019 14:47

@slightlymisplaced, I'm off to hand myself in. OK? Jeez. Or would YOU like to hand me in instead? ffs.

OP posts:
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