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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH has lied to me

2 replies

DHproblems · 14/01/2019 17:25

Backstory: a few years ago BIL (DH's brother) was living in his then partners property. They split and he moved in with the PILs. A while later he met a new gf, and as he was self employed in a new business he asked DH to be guarantor for a property for him and the gf to rent. DH discussed it with me, I didn't give a strong opinion either way, but then BIL continued living with PILs so I assumed they had changed their minds.

Fast forward to today. DH hadn't logged out of his emails properly on a shared device, and I noticed an email from a property company - turns out BIL rented the place with his gf, has 'lived' there for 3 years and was being chased for defaulting on the rent. What the fuck?!?! DH never mentioned any of this, and once upon a time I asked him if BIL had ever said any more about the guarantor business, and he vagued out of it. I know BIL is still technically living at PILs, we visit quite often, he has a room and MIL does his laundry and makes his dinner (He's in his late fucking 40s, but that's another issue).

What the fuck? Aside from why is BIL pretending he hasn't moved out, why has DH lied about this? I am mega pissed off, we've had another DC since the matter reared its head and we aren't exactly in a position to foot a £2k plus rent arrears issue. But at the time I didn't express a strong view so there was NO NEED to do ot behind my back and fucking lie to me for 3 years!!!

OP posts:
BatShaped · 14/01/2019 17:57

Nobody can answer this question for you on here. I don't think it's divorce worthy stuff but you just need to ask him about this and why he didn't tell you.

I'd be cross but unless my husband was usually a complete twat then I think it's something I could deal with depending on what he has to say for himself

So just ask him

Dunin · 14/01/2019 22:40

Has he got form for lying?

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