First time poster here. This thread has been a long time coming. Met now ex 10 years ago. Have 1 dd. I settled down in to parenthood and work full time. Not much about his life changed. Dissappearing every week to take drugs (cocaine weed valium) , sometimes for days on end endless lies, no responsibility. The type who gets his own way or life is hell. I would get threats of him never speaking to me again if i didnt transfer him money etc Has had over 20 jobs in the time iv known him. I always tried to say in his defence he was a good dad i now see that if he was he wouldnt have done any of this. Around 18 months ago the drug abused and abandonment reached peak and i made him move out. I would not trust dd to be in his home knowing what i do so he has always seen dd at my house or with his dps. He had a bad period with drugs again in october 2018 and i had to phone police due to to harassment/violence as he kept coming to my house late at night intoxicated. Before i go any further i know anyone reading this will > why i have taken this treatment all this time. I dont know why all i know is the worse it got the harder it was to break the cycle. Since this happened in october he has tried again to win me over and be a part of mine and dd lives. I found out this week he has been with someone else he met online behind my back for almost a year on and off. A double life pretty much. I have spoke with ow in depth and have every detail and he has admitted to both sides. Its hard to explain how broken i feel. I am being threatened by ex about lawyers for access to dd already but dont feel she would be 100 percent cared for with him in his own home as he can not care for himself a grown man. I would have said the same before i found out about ow as. Well. I am already struggling to sleep and eat after this feeling really panicked . I know this has to be it I haven't slept properly in years :( i am just looking for advice or a hand hold feeling very humiliated and broken at the moment