Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Long term FWB situation

4 replies

Msgiggles30 · 13/01/2019 20:08

Hi this is probably long and feel embarrassed even writing it so bear with. I have been in a FWB situation for around 6 years, very casual sometimes not seeing eachother for months but always seem to come back to eachother. We have known of eachother in social circles since I was about 16 and now I am heading towards 30.

He has treated me poorly in the past in terms of ghosting but never in any other way. I did end up with feelings in the first 2 years and went a bit crazy really getting upset when he ignored messages etc, although it was always casual and he made that clear. Around year 4 we didnt speak for a long time (6 months or so) and the feelings went away.

We have been casually seeing eachother again and I am glad that I no longer have feelings for him and really can honestly say I dont want a relationship out of it. So why cant I stop?! Maybe as its easy? I dont even enjoy seeing him so much anymore as its too predictable in pattern but still like his company and care about him in a friends way. I have nothing else going on romantically and get bored I suppose.

I am torn between just carrying on as and when I wish on my terms or just cutting it off now. I do want more and not sure whether to just tell him that I cant do this any more as I want a relationship with someone now (not expecting it from him) or whether to just leave it and not disclose why? Dont really know what advice I'm hoping for but just felt like I really need to write it down somewhere Blush

OP posts:
Boysandbuses · 13/01/2019 20:12

Is there a reason you any date other people and look for a relationship.....then when you have that stop seeing him.

You don't seem unhappy with the situation but, almost, feel uncomfortable with it.

Do you feel it's holding you back?

Ollivander84 · 13/01/2019 20:21

Similar here. Met at 13, FWB for the best part of 17 years. It's comfortable and easy 🤷🏽‍♀️

Msgiggles30 · 13/01/2019 20:21

I think you've hit the nail on the head. Im a home bird and have a really busy work life and actually fulfilling personal life with close family and friends so havent really looked for a relationship in recent years.

Now that I'm nearly 30 I have been thinking about it more and maybe this does hold me back although I tell myself if i met someone I wouldn't give the current guy a second thought. Neither I nor him have got into a relationship with anyone else in the time we've been casually seeing eachother. Hes actually the only person i've been intimate with in this time as I'm not one for hook ups really but I know hes been with others.

OP posts:
Msgiggles30 · 13/01/2019 20:23

Comfortable and easy a good description here too! Although I feel Ive put up with stuff from him that makes me feel silly. Im really together in other aspects of life and lets just say hes not and a bit of a lost soul

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page