My relationship with my parents. They are in their 70s, good health and my mother is very controlling. We have fallen out in the past with her stepping over lines and boundaries and she cut me off. We had about a year of cordiality and then she decided to cut me and the kids off again. I’m not entirely sure what I did but I think it was that I complained bitterly about her doing something with my kids that she knew fine well that I wouldn’t like.
My dad has stayed in touch and studiously plays Switzerland. Previously he’s always eventually taken her side, although I suspect he was ground down into it.
My dad is a worrier by nature and came over before Christmas to ask what the chances were of us all coming to visit them. I said it was unlikely. (They live about 10 mins drive away.) Then he recited some symptoms my mum has developed which admittedly needed investigating, but he managed to escalate it into “This is how your Auntie Carol started.” Auntie Carol was an elderly aunt who died of a very slow growing cancer. This is NOT what my mum is presenting with, but he decided it was, and that “this changes everything, you really should come over, after all she’s done for you” etc. No mention of apology or the fact she has arbitrarily cut off me and her grandchildren.
I rang my siblings and they hadn’t heard anything about it. And they’re in regular contact and of course panicked and she told them she had an investigation booked.
I didn’t hear any more, Dad visited without commenting and seemed on good form. So I asked another sibling had he heard anything and he said oh yes, she got the results a couple of weeks ago, it’s all fine. But of course no one had told me, presumably because there was no benefit to them in doing so.
AIBU to think it’s rather unfair? And manipulating?