I don't know how I m feeling, have no interest in anything. I don't even know if I want a divorce, only thing I want is my son, something that keeps smile only face.i m in a loveless n sexless marriage, problems started with his low libido, whenever I spoke about it the blame came on me, he was not able to provide for the family I was doing it from the time of marriage, I used to take care most of the expense, he was trying but unable to earn whatever required to run the family, I even helped him in his business loan n paying his EMI sometimes. When I was busy taking care of all this he was having affair online,till I caught him it was on for close to 18 months, this shattered my world, he used to be cold n distant with me, sex once a month whenever he feels, this used frustrates me alot, when I asked him about the affair he denied, when I showed the proof told all possible stories n asked for forgiveness, I was not ready to accept this, I was confused, though financially I could take care of myself n my son, mentally I was not, didn't not know what to do, don't have any other support from my family, I'm the only child, mom passed away 10 years back, dad is in no position to help me. Back in India divorce is not an option, it's been a 1.5year since I caught him about his affairs n porn watching.. tried moving on but never did. I m unable to forgive, I m cursing my self daily, I feel m stuck in this marriage.
I can't think of divorce because of society n no support anybody.
My son is 5yr old , when I m at work his parents take care, if i get divorce iwill have to put him in some play school n manage my work which looks difficult, thinking about all this I m still continuing this marriage.
But I m depressed n frustrated daily, I m more happy if he is not around at home, we hardly speak, whenever we speak it's basic things we do not have any conversations any more.
Don't know how long can I continue like this