New relationship... feeling insecure

[peppermintteadrinker]

I'm doing my own head in. Met a lovely guy through old. Been talking since October and seeing him since November. We talk every day and he's always texting and in touch.

I had an abusive marriage which I came out of five years ago. I had therapy and didn't try for another relationship until started old last summer. This guy is third guy I met and I really like him .

It's all been lovely but in last couple of days I feel like he's backed off. I'm not sure if he has or whether I'm just feeling insecure. My ex was a master of messing with my head so not sure whether to trust my feelings or not.

I've been used to new guy ringing every day. This is from him not me but I have got used to it and felt secure knowing he would be in touch. Anyway we're going out tonight. Haven't seen him in ten days now because we don't live that near to each other.

He didn't text or ring last night until really late and I'd gone to bed. I've replied this morning and he hasn't replied. Every day so far he texts before me. He's always up early.

I hate this stuff. I am now feeling needy plus I have raging PMT. Someone have a word with my daft head and tell me how to get a fucking grip and stop looking at my phone!

It does sound a bit odd, but there’s really nothing you can do. Hopefully he won’t cancel on you for tonight and maybe he’ll tell you then if there’s something up.

TRY to find something to do today that will take your mind off it a bit.

Just keep being mindful. Sometimes ‘lovely’ is just that, other times it’s the wooing part of controlling. Sometimes ‘not being in touch as usual’ is just other things happening, but sometimes it’s stage 2 of controlling.

Get busy, stay busy...see what happens.

In my experience, men (and women) can often text/ring more at the beginning of the relationship but this does gradually start to reduce once you start getting to know someone.
The last guy I was seeing on OLD (for 7 months) used to text constantly every day and ring me at least once a week. Once we started actually seeing each other, I'm lucky if I got a couple of texts a day.
I wouldn't read anything into it. Try to stop thinking about it and just get on with your life.

Hopefully the date goes ahead and you can maybe talk and get certain things clear? He probably was out lastnight and still asleep as a result? Ring him up to know how he is. What do you think? I agree with @crappyday2018 texts flow all the time at the start of relationships but eventually, they get complacent and don't bother texting like before. See if you can distract yourself with perhaps crap telly to take your mind off overthinking things?

Ok so its a change but possibly a good sign. Perhaps he is feeling more comfortable with you now.

There really is nothing you can do but wait and see how things are tonight. Get yourself very busy today and try not to think about it.

And remember - he's just a guy. There are a billion other ones. If it doesn't work out with him the world won't end.

Thanks for replies. He has ring and it's all ok for tonight. Hoping you're right crappy and katgurl and it's just a settling in a bit type thing. I think I'm prone to wanting to know what's what and relationships aren't like that. PMT is dreadful too. I'm a bit all over the place.

*rung