Does lust ever have a happy ending?

[christmasfoof]

There's a guy who gives me the strongest feelings of lust I've ever experienced. I'm early 30s, first met this guy three years ago and immediately thought there was something about him. After our paths cross, every time, I just can't stop thinking about him, particularly in a sexual way. Our hands accidentally touched once and it felt like the world moved. This strong feeling is quite alien to me and feels ridiculous!

He's now expressed interest in me too. I'm just wondering if anyone has ever had such strong feelings of desire towards someone and it's actually ended well - it feels a bit scary.

I really, really did. Sadly he died, but it was amazing. The feeling of lust got more so rather than less.

Sorry for your loss @Herja

Herja - so sorry.

christmasfoof - are you in a relationship? My lust experience transcended a few and got me into trouble emotionally. It wained when I realised the person wasn't capable of anything other than lust.

Yes. I got the fanny gallops when I first met DP and still do whenever I look at him
In fact I would go as far to say that I don’t think a relationship can be successful unless you have lust (at least at the beginning anyway).
My DP drives me insane at times but I still want to rip his clothes off and make up after arguments.

@Thelieswetelltoourselves I am recently (very) out of a relationship.

Bumping as interested to hear any other stories...

Three times. First time he was 20 years older, highly unsuitable and an utter bastard with a wandering eye. I didn’t give a shit, I was 25 and the lust lasted the whole of our 4 year dysfunctional relationship. Remains some of the hottest sex I’ve ever had. Also the worst most toxic relationship.

2nd was a brief fling which turned into a very sporadic fuck buddy that lasted nearly seven years until I’ve had to cut all contact to concentrate on my current relationship. He was a flakey twat but the chemistry was frightening, we’d try to go out for dinner and have to leave before the starters came to have sex. We tried being friends when I was in a previous relationship but it wasn’t fair on the boyfriend as the chemistry was still there.

Current relationship the chemistry was there within 20 seconds of the start of date one. We spend an awful lot of time in bed and have to drag ourselves out to do normal things. So far (4 months) it’s still going but he’s respectful, kind, honest, and seems 100% committed. And all the things outside of the sex are lovely, easy, drama-free. It’s early days but the previous two relationships were waving red flags from day one. Plus I ignored all of them because the sex was like an addiction.

This one seems like a good one, and the chemistry is amazing. I think I’d just say be careful of ending up with some complete wrong’un because they give you the fanny gallops. I wasted about 10 years of my adult life and turned down a few lovely men because I was being led by my fanny.

Bollocksthemess - your last sentence made me laugh out loud! But the body of your post resonated with me 100%.

I’ve only truly met one man who drove me insane with desire but at two separate points it didn’t work out. We’re on a third - and very fucking final - attempt because even though the timing is awful for us both we’ve realised we can’t live without each other. He’s a good guy and my best mate, whom will always give me the fanjo flutters and is without a shadow of doubt my soulmate. However, I’m no philosophic, rose tinted romantic. Its only now that I can see things working on a practical level and that he’ll make a fantastic, reliable partner for me. No amount of lust could compensate for flakiness or a man child IMO so time will tell; however! There are far worse things to base a relationship on if you both love each other. Now that I’m approaching 40, a lone parent after 12 years pure shite and nearly divorced, there is so much small detail I just refuse to sweat any more compared to when I was an uptight, over thinking 25 year old. Good luck and happy riding OP!

Didn't experience lust until 42 and current partner crossed my path. Blimey....
I could watch him undress 100 times a day ...
I was quite relentless in pursuing him and completely brazen which is so unlike me!
One day I just walked into his office and told him what I'd like to do to him
The rest of the relationship- not sure ...can be volatile and not sure we completely click on all other levels but been together 4 years and still have the hots for him....my sex life has never been better and I'm pushing 50.

I wouldn’t be remotely interested in someone, if I didn’t feel lust.

I've followed lust into bad situations before.

And I've also followed it into meaningful, good relationships.

I married the three men I felt the most lust ever for. The first, we fell out of lust (and love) over time due to wanting very different things, but we stayed very friendly. The second, I fell out of lust (and love) while he still was desperately in love/lust with me, because he'd shown himself to be a dramatically unsuitable life partner in several ways.

The third, I have had two children with, and the relationship is as loving and lustful as ever -- more, really. We sometimes have fiery arguments and both have very big personalities, but the lust is tremendous! There are days/weeks when one or both of us isn't feeling it for whatever reason, but it always comes back.

There's something extra special when the person you lust after has years and years of experience getting really good at pleasing you in bed, and has given you all your best orgasms.

Mine died, gosh I miss having my toes curled with a kiss.
But never ever would I undo the lust years...

Yes and no.

First really lustful relationship was amazingly powerful, lasted years but ultimately destroyed me as he was so toxic and such a horrible manipulative person.

Second went into limerance and it was like an obsession/addiction to how I felt near him.

Third was dh. It was far less consuming than the other experiences but built as the relationship did and now 20+ years he still does it for me. Not all the time but enough to make me really love him and want to be close to him.

—@christmasfoof— the only other thing I’ll say is if you’re recently out of a relationship you are much more vulnerable to following the lust to a shit situation.
Looking back, especially with my second one, I was quite unhappy when I met him and not long out of a relationship which left me far more open to tolerating the flakey, emotionally unavailable fucker. With the scary chemistry I tolerated his bollocks for far longer than I should have.

Sorry, @christmasfoof

Lust should never come into the equation when deciding relationship matters. If you don’t think that you can resist the list when you think that rationally you should leave then stay away for the sake of your happiness. If you think you can keep your self control then go for it and enjoy the lust. Lust is great for sex and a good consolation when things aren’t going great but you have to push through. But it can be dangerous if you can’t deny it.

I have a lot if lust in general. In time I’ve developed a lot if lustvtiwsrds my husband. But I engaged in the relationship because I could see it was a good thing. The lust just helps me when I am not 100% in my marriage (not the type tbh). But if I couldn’t resist him I would have never touched him in the first place.

Lust should never come into the equation when deciding relationship matters.

Of course it should. Good sex will get you through tough times. And it's healthy, free and fun. It shouldn't be instead of other things. But it's on the list.

I've had three. One was pure fun, no relationship and good except for him not being entirely fair and faithful to girlfriends.

Second got me out of a terrible marriage. I realised that if I felt like I did when I looked at the man across the office, I probably wasn't the miserable, frigid person I was in my marriage. I did end up dating him for a couple of years after the marriage ended. It was great but the timing was off.

DH was and is hot as fuck. And he's lovely as well.

within an hour of meeting i was in bed with dp and we make love up to 5 times a day still even though he is nearly 60 and im mid 50s we love each other dearly and to be honest times when we are either fucking or fighting but we will never part

TBH I think lust can sometimes keep you together when you really should be leaving.

That was certainly the case in my last LTR.