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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Family gone distant with me

1 reply

blackheartsgirl · 13/01/2019 04:37

Ive always had a difficult time with my son, he has adhd and aspergers and really put us all through the mill when he was a teen with his violence and his ways. I stuck by him and kept our family together and we seemed to come through still very close. He's 19 with a young baby who is adorable. Has a job and lovely girlfriend and flat and im very proud of him. However.

I changed my life around last year and finally kicked my now exp out after 13 long abusive years, lost loads of weight, found a new exersise hobby and found new love..who's brilliant to me and the kids (i have 3 younger dc)

I also work full time, my young dc have hobbies and im trying to spread myself round everyone and getting so stressed about not being able to see my grandchild every 2 or 3 days which ive beentold i should be doing.

My ds, my estranged vindictive brother and now my mum (who is also an odd person at times) have all been putting snidy comments on my happy fb updates with regards to my hobby. Me and new dp went away for a night recently, something ive not done for 13 years and the shit o got for it. My brother and my son publically slagged me off on fb saying how useless i was and how distant im getting..trouble is i message my son every 3 or 3 days and he doesnt read them or reply. My mums the same. Ds will only ring if he wants something like he has ring me at 2 am demanding i take him to tescos! I also found my mum and ds meet behind my back and talk about my new life..they go out for dinner..shes supposedly housebound!
I just cant be arsed any more but im so hurt. I wouldnt mind if id been a bitch with them all but i havent. Ds has also said that he doesnt like my younger kids anywhere near his baby because he hates them..has since birth..the youngest is 9.

Its got to me somewhere hasnt it..im so sad about everything

OP posts:
Justagirlwholovesaboy · 13/01/2019 04:53

One of the key thing about aspergers as I’m sure you know is a dislike about change. You’ve changed and have made a good move doing so. This isn’t your fault. I don’t know want is going on with your mum but it sounds like she is stirring your sons uncertainties into negatives. When did yu last sit down and speak with your son about this all one on one? You need to reassure him you are still here for him, at the same time you need to not apologise for enjoying your own life. You haven’t done anything wrong here, it sounds like others are influencing the situation for their own unknown gain

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