Completely baffled... Not had a drink since NYE

[WhatWouldLIfeBe]

I am the standard by which other problem drinkers compare themselves. Over the past couple of years I have managed to cut down and stay dry often for 3/4 days a week which I have thought was quite good. On the days when I have drunk I have sunk at least a bottle of wine. Usually after 3 days I have thought hey ho, I'm ok, I can have some wine now. And so it has gone on.

Lots of things have changed in the past year not least getting rid of my abusive husband of over 2 decades standing. I'm so far not missing alcohol, I'm just baffled that I've got this far. Am I in a dream?

Nope.
Sounds like you got rid of a major reason why you drink.
Well done on being nearly two weeks without booze.

We can use alcohol as a crutch when times are bad. When I lost my Mum I was a young Mum myself at the end of my tether with three small children an abusive husband and nothing to fill the void when my Mum died.
And so I turned to a half bottle of wine each evening and this went on for several months.

And then my husband left us.
i didn't have a drink again for a couple of years. Didn't want one. Didn't need one. It was loss, hurt, heartache, life that shattered my world and wine filled the void for a while.
The void closed. Life became bearable again and I didn't need anything except myself and my kids to keep on keeping on.
Still love a glass of wine or two but its never on my radar these days.

Wow well done, great achievement!

Thank you! It feels like a different sort of head space. I don't know if it will carry on. I have never been sober this long unless I was pregnant or in hospital. I am very wary of becoming a dry drunk. In some ways it is at least as bad as being a wet drunk. Nearly all my childhood and college friends are far more sensible about alcohol these days. It has just been me carrying on like a teenager of old. I don't really feel much different apart from maybe a bit calmer. I have been on SSRI antidepressants pretty much since they were invented and they have made hangovers so much easier to cope with. They have stopped the dread feeling of wanting the earth to open up and swallow me whole, the full-on whack of gloom and despair that follows overdrinking.

Well done. Keep going.

I too was in an abusive marriage, and when we were still together I drank a LOT - at least a bottle of wine most nights. This carried on when we first split up and for a few months after. But then, I just started to naturally drink less and less and now drink very rarely. I just didn’t fancy it as much once all the drama and arguing was over. Maybe it will be the same for yoh?

I am very wary of becoming a dry drunk. In some ways it is at least as bad as being a wet drunk

What’s a dry drunk? And how is it as bad as just drinking?

Surely not drinking is always better?

You*

I feel like this too, but am nine months sober. I just...stopped, and that was it. My life is so much better. I am a better person. There are no negatives at all.

A dry drunk holds all the baggage as a wet drunk but without the alcohol. A dry drunk will be very critical and bitter about people who enjoy a drink and particularly hard on people who struggle with alcohol. There are other words for Dry Drunk. Just can't think of them at the moment!
Dry drunkenness is a very unhappy place to be.