Should I trust DH

[rustytissues]

I don't know what to do, an issue a few months ago has left me completely untrusting.

• visiting family and stayed at a hotel, I was trying to settle baby, he decided to go to reception to ask for recommendations on restaurant to take family to dinner. After 20mins I went downstairs, he's leaning over the desk chatting and laughing with the receptionist. Same receptionist most days (there 3 at this point) very pretty but before this didn't even cross my mind to be concerned. Other moments during stay that bothered me where he'd disappear for a bit, plus the 'big tip' he gave her at the end.

Anyway, we get back adds her on Facebook and then I lose it, say he's being extremely disrespectful and inappropriate, he deletes request (I wasn't snooping, he brazenly told me) and since then I haven't felt the same.

He's been moving locations for work a lot recently which is unusual, and received some messages from an old flame which he told me about, but I'm constantly questioning whether he's covering something up. I just don't trust him anymore. I'm beginning to think we may have to separate as I can't stomach feeling like this for the rest of our marriage, but am I the one being unreasonable? Do I need to get past this and learn to trust him, also, how on earth do I do that?

I know this sounds terribly childish, we're both late 30s and married for 5years together for 8, we've had a lot of other things to deal with over this time, close bereavements and infertility, and maybe I'm just looking for the next problem.

(So not to drip feed, I had an issue many years ago where he was very close to a woman he worked with and referred to her as his 'work wife' I never spoke up about this though, as I thought he would just think me 'jealous')

Listen to what he is telling you

He is sniffing after women he fancies. Is this ok with you ?

Who on earth adds people on Facebook who are just employees of a hotel you stayed in? Why? For what purpose? They aren't friends, she is just a woman doing a job. How did he even find out her full name to do this? Bizarre. I sometimes speak to tesco staff, but I wouldn't be hunting them down on social media. It's weird, and unless he had a specific reason to do so, a bit sleazy. I don't know whether you should trust your husband or not, but I think you should trust yourself.

This. I’m sorry but seriously he testing the waters with the receptionist and is gearing up for an affair.

So he fancied her. Does he think his behaviour was acceptable?

How can you trust him. Plus the 16 year old was his work wife? That is creepy.

If this is what he does when you are around, imagine how he is when you aren't. So is he just going to carry on with this sleazy behaviour?

I wouldn't trust him either.

Rusty, kudos for confronting him.

(1) The 16 Year Old Work Wife: You said earlier that he was very close to this woman. She was a 16 year old girl! What did you mean by very close? Were you only referring to his calling her work wife? Was there more? A grown man in a superior position at work referring to a 16 yr old as his work wife, to her face & others, is highly inappropriate on many levels. Now, when confronted, he says that HE was uncomfortable at the time. Re-writing history much? I call BS.

(2) The Old Flame: Many people minimize and say that they are being polite, when in reality they are attracted to the ego boost and rush. Don’t trust what he is saying.

(3) The Receptionist: He was chasing a woman he fancies. Betrayal

Rusty, you will forever be in turmoil if you stay with this man. He is a selfish womanizer who feels entitled to cross lines. Why would you even consider settling for this?