My girlfriend is starting to feel like my friend..advice?

[wateringhole3]

I'm gay and this is my first relationship with the same sex.
I've always dated men and we've only been together 6 months.
The thing is I think I'm treating her like a friend and I'm worried it's gonna be more like a friendship than lovers.
Does anyone know what I mean?
How to keep it like lovers and not friends who sleep together?

I didn't mean it's not working as it is but with it being new to me it's hard for me personally to know what I do with female friends I can't do with her.

I think the OP is a woman, Mrsmummy, but hasn’t dated another woman up until now.

I haven’t got any good advice myself, other than surely it would be the same as if you felt a BF was going this way. Try and find time for each other (date nights etc). If budgets are tight, even a walk somewhere can help. Otherwise it could just be that this woman isn’t the right one for you long term.

Ohhh sorry, I completely misunderstood!

It's not a bad thing to treat her as your friend. My husband is most definitely my friend. Just keep things romantic and the rest will come naturally. Tell her how beautiful she is, kiss her when she's next to you etc
You'll do great

First step, talk to her. Is there something either of you needs to make it more romantic? Look up love languages it's quite interesting.
Secondly, she's your first girl friend but she may just not be "the one" plenty of relationships fizzle out and become friendships because the passion just isn't there. So if you try to inject more passion and it fails, don't beat yourself up.

I think being friends who you want to sleep with is exactly what a good relationship should be about! I don't see the problem?

I honestly don’t know the difference between lovers and friends who sleep together 🙁 is it just me?
I’ll admit I’m not the most sexual person and I do worry about this sometimes when I read on here “I’m so sad we feel like friends”. What dies a lover feel like after a good number of years?

Maybe there's no difference and I'm overthinking.
I tend to overthink a lot.
I'm just worried if we become too much like friends ..the spark will go.

Do you have romantic feelings toward her? If not then she may just not be the right one for you.

How old are you? Do either of you have kids? Do you live together? (Yeah I know that would be crazy early but I also know that a lot of lesbians move in together early on. I’m a gay woman BTW - seen it so many times with my other gay friends).

If you’re 6 months in and already feeling like she’s more of a friend than anything else then I honestly don’t think she’s for you. 6 months in you should still be in the first flush of love, wanting a lot of sex with her, wanting to kiss her all the time, to share romantic moments. Friendship is the cornerstone of all good relationships but if there’s not much spark between you this early on then I think it’s doomed.

Both 36 both have 1 child each but don't live together.
No plans to either as my daughter doesn't want too.

@Palestperson why do you think lesbians seem to move in early?
I know one of my girlfriends friends has been dating for 3 months and already live together.
Too early

My DH is my best friend. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to sleep with him.

@Wateringhole it’s a bit of a stereotype but true for nearly all the lesbians I know - they’re “in love” after one date and shacked up together within a few months. I personally couldn’t do that but a lot do. Disclaimer: I know that some straight couples do this too before anyone bollocks me. And obviously not all lesbians do (not me for one!)

Ok. A few more questions then. Do you live close together and see each other a lot? Have you met each other’s kids? And crucially, do you actually fancy her?

Yes my Oh is my best friend - in the way we're silly with each other and relaxed around each other however there's always that "next level" of attraction and chemistry which you need to decide if you have with her.

Personally I think if the "spark" has gone after 6 months, it's probably not long term worthy.

Are you having sex with each other? Kissing etc? Then your not friends are you. Part of an relationship is being friends with that person...

Yeah we've met kids and spent Christmas Day together the 4 of us.

Do you want to bonk her? That's the only difference between her being a best fiend and being a lover

I do yes ha ha
We have been together before around 5 years ago for 2 years and it ended rubbish so we've gave it another shot hoping it's better this time,think that's why I'm a bit panicky

She's the only woman I've been with and was my first and still is if that makes sense.
When we split I dated a man and didn't like it at all.