Question on stress / adrenaline

[whatsamattayou]

Hi everyone I've been lurking for a while and often impressed with some of the insight/advice people give. This is my first post so bear with!

I have been in what I now believe to be, at times, an emotionally abusive relationship. (Sulking, Ignoring, swearing, shouting, name calling, untrue accusations (and then being called a liar however many times I deny) addiction and anger issues, slamming around house to be intimidating) It is now at an end but we still live together and this is hopefully getting sorted soon. Anyway that is not the point just background.

My question is - Can your body become used to/crave the anxiety / stress? and does anyone have info on this? I've tried to google but can't succintly put in to words what I want to google.

I had such a lovely calm Christmas break and caught up with friends/ family and I felt calmer and happier in myself (also due to time off work/not rushing around I expect) I barely saw or spoke to my ex. Have not seen him this week until last night. Yesterday daytime I just felt a bit glum and down/flat for no particular reason, then he came in in the evening (drunk and/or stoned) and started going off at me shouting and swearing/making accusations and threats. Suddenly my heart was beating so fast and kept going for several hours as he kept coming to my room to have a go at me. BUT it did mean I didn't feel glum anymore and still don't this morning - i'm wondering if it's the adrenaline kick??

Does anyone understand what I'm trying to ask or know of any books/ web links that explain?

I think I'm worried that my brain is used to having occasional 'dramatic' situations. Or maybe I'm completely overthinking the whole thing as I can't expect to feel happy all the time. Just so you know I'm not a drama seeking person and have no other relationships like this. I look forward to being free and calm but worry I will feel a bit 'flat' when things are too calm (not that I want drama I just worry my body has become conditioned to expect it!) or maybe I am overthinking and overworrying which sounds very much like me

I'm off out now so will check back later. Look forward to any thoughts people can offer! thanks in advance!

If you can become conditioned to it over time, you can become reconditioned too! Embrace your new normal when you are free and give yourself time to relax into it.

Yes you're right, I'm probably getting ahead of myself. Things take time. I think I'm worrying as well about eventually landing up in the same position because subconsciously it's 'normal' but I think the fact I'm consciously questioning it means I will know when something isn't right. I have found reading peoples experiences and the advice on here really helpful squaring things in my own head. Thanks for your reply.

Try trauma bonding op

Also stress an anxiety trigger adrenaline (fight or flight responses) so your body is having a kind of chemical crash if that makes sense.

The sooner you move out the better....Your body and emotions will regulate once normality is restored.

Good luck

Thankyou Closet, reading up on trauma bonding now and definitely a lot I can relate to!