% of monthly income

[mrdibbs]

Hi there

I am getting divorced and want the best for my kids and don't want my soon to be ex-wife to have a hard life. I have put together some figures and it works out that I have agreed to pay her 30% of my salary (to cover childcare for our two kids that will live with her in the family home - i've moved out to a studio flat).

Is this fair?!

Sounds fair to me. I presume she has a job.

So many threads on here are about parents splitting up who have made no financial plans, at least you've done that.

I hope things work out for you all in the future.

Sorry to hear you're going through a divorce.
It sounds a lot when you put it into a percentage like that but I think it's an awful lot less than you'd pay if your ex took it through CSA.

Best of luck to you x

30% is a huge amount. I'd use the online calculator. Paying a fair amount is one thing, reducing yourself to poverty is another.

You'd pay about 15% via the CSA. I wish I was getting 30% from my ex- my life would be completely different! More than fair.

Nobody can say whether it’s fair on those details!

Well of course we don't know all the details but it seems reasonable from what the op has told us. His ex wife is staying in the marital home with the children which minimises their disruption, he has gone into a studio flat. How old are your children, mrdibbs?

These are just finances, the emotional upheaval cannot be calculated in money terms but, so far, it looks as though he's doing his best.

Perhaps, if we are nice, he'll tell us a bit more.

Not enough information to answer the question. Plus she may not want a % of your income as spousal maintenance, in addition to your child maintenance. She might want a capital sum. She might want to live elsewhere.

Also how can you co parent your children in a studio flat? You need a bigger home.

30% of net or gross?
CMS calculator suggests it would be 16% of your gross salary less pension. (Probably more like 20% of your net).
30% sounds high if you are also looking after the kids.

I don’t trust male divorcing posters with scant information 🤷🏻‍♀️

Better than asking MN what is fair, would be to ask his wife what is fair. Look at a breakdown of costs with her.

He’ll get plenty of replies on here saying that’s more than CMS... doesn’t mean it’s fair in their situation.

OP was posting yesterday about how much it costs to feed his 2 kids for a month. As he doesn’t already know, that means he wife is doing that. So: ASK HER.

I don't have any money but got a new job which is a decent salary. It would be keeping her in our original family home so as not to disrupt the kids who live with her. I'm a few mins away in a studio but see the kids as often as i can and want to be as involved day to day as much as i can in their lives as i adore them.

30% of my salary after tax means i have very little to live on myself and would not be able to move to a larger flat to accomodate them yet.

Are you not sharing care of the children you adore ?

My solicitor said I should expect about 30% of my ex DH salary for maintenance but I was a full time SAHM and he would only have them every other weekend plus an evening.

I think that’s a good amount and could reduce to CmS levels after the need for childcare lessens.

The problem is that you would have a studio flat. Which means no overnights. That`s a bit sad.

If it`s amicable, could you both sit down and work out how to try for a sustainable lifestyle for them, while you have a two-bed so you cna have them?

Does the ex work?