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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please - neighbours

17 replies

Mum4Fergus · 11/01/2019 23:38

Posting here for traffic...will be as succinct as possible.

We live in a semi-detached, amicable enough relationship with husband and wife neighbours, they are both mid-late 60's at a guess. Our bedrooms are opposite sides of house however I am in with DS tonight as he is poorly.

I heard, what I think was neighbour trying to get into house, door was locked so knocking for a few minutes. Eventually got into their house then all hell broke loose...fighting, shouting/arguing about being locked out and having to wait on doorstep, swearing, things being thrown and then, what I'm sure was slapping/hitting. It went on for about 15 minutes...DS, who woke up, says it happens quite a lot.

It's all gone quiet now, but what, if anything, would you do? Report it, have a quiet word, keep my nose out...am honestly not sure .

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 11/01/2019 23:42

Sounds like he's just got back from the pub. Hard to know what to do though. Maybe have a quiet word with her next time you see her on her own?

bastardkitty · 11/01/2019 23:44

Next time it happens, call the police. That's what I'd do.

springydaff · 11/01/2019 23:51

Don't have a word!! My goodness, don't do that.

Call the police and report it. The police will protect your anonymity and they know what to do about your neighbours. They are very well trained these days.

As it's been going on for a while the neighbours won't suspect you reporting it now. It could just as easily have been someone walking past.

We must do this. We must report domestic abuse whenever we see (or hear) it.

expatmigrant · 11/01/2019 23:56

Please report to police. This is a safeguarding issue and as adults we all have a responsibility otherwise we become bystanders.
Follow your gut instinct. What if it was you?

ladymariner · 11/01/2019 23:57

Yes report it. Next time it happens it could be too late...

VexedWW · 11/01/2019 23:59

Report to the police

When I was a child, my mother was in an abusive relationship where this would often happen, I wish someone had called the police back then.

LemonTT · 12/01/2019 00:12

Report it to the police. It’s the right and recommended thing to do. Essentially you believe someone is in danger, immediate danger. So you call 999.

What you don’t do, is ask some questions, minimise or say it’s not your business.

MixedMaritalArts · 12/01/2019 01:12

As well as helping with contacting someone “official” are you able to move your child to another bedroom too ?

reallybadidea · 12/01/2019 09:47

This is so sad, your poor neighbour. I'd definitely contact the police next time it happens, but also definitely move my child's bedroom. No child should be listening to that.

PurpleWithRed · 12/01/2019 09:49

Phone safeguarding at your local council as well as police - I’d start with 101 for the police rather than 999 unless you can call the police while it’s actually happening.

springydaff · 12/01/2019 11:39

Don't wait for it to harken again before you retort it. Report it now Call 101 and ask to be put through to the DV unit. Tell your story there.

I have reported my ND neighbour. The police were wonderful and reassured me i'd done the right thing - they were grateful I'd had the courage. They know their stuff these days.

I've found I'm an amazing actor when I need to be. I am friendly to said NDNs. They'd never know it was me.

springydaff · 12/01/2019 11:40

Sorry about typos!

Mum4Fergus · 12/01/2019 16:35

Thanks all...reported to DV unit via 101.

OP posts:
Arnoldthecat · 12/01/2019 17:06

Yes,next time she might stab him or otherwise injure him.

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 12/01/2019 19:19

Report it to police. Don't approach them as it will make you vulnerable.

springydaff · 12/01/2019 19:55

Well done Mum.

expatmigrant · 12/01/2019 20:56

Well done. You've done the right thing. Must have been quite scary for your son to be listening to that.

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