Having a wobble tonight

[Mango88]

Have posted previously about long term issues with H (possible gaslighting etc) which came to a head after a horrible summer holiday. Went for a chat tonight after a toxic atmosphere at home for weeks & I finally admitted that, following similar cycle 2 years ago & him recently saying in anger he wanted a divorce (he says he regrets that & said it to get a reaction) that to give things another try, would be a leap of faith I don’t know if I can risk. I just wanted to be honest with him. He reckons he can’t see any way forward if I feel like that then & seemed so hurt that I felt a total b*tch even tho I’ve been incredibly hurt in the past by him & he’s seemed emotionless then. Only yesterday he was saying in one breath he wants his wife back (I’ve been sleeping in spare room) & in the next that we need to sort this as it’s affecting his work decision making & it could impact the financial welfare of the family if we don’t. Just feeling doubt tonight & needing a hand hold.

You have your own power of decision making, which means you can be liberated. The fallout on him, his work, his financial stability, well all I can say is "awwwww diddums". Maybe he could have not been abusive in the first place. He's "sorry" now it's his problem, that is all. Do you have any genuine reason or wish to reverse your decision?

@ showmeshoyu No I just feel guilty because I’m a nice person. I need to remember all the times I’ve been distraught & he’s left me to it I guess. Also it’s scary to stand your ground & make a decision when you’ve had years of doing not being confident to do either.

Now is your time, maybe it's time for you to show that level of kindness you've shown to others to yourself. You can do it, you've come a long way already.