What is said in an argument.

[fuddle]

Do you think that what people say in an argument is always true. I got told this relationship is never going to work it was just a dream. He couldn't deal with his insecurities and wanted to finish the relationship but after talking we made up. A few days later i asked if what he had said about the relationship was true and he said no. It just seems strange.

Some people do and some people don't.

I don't recall saying things I wished I hadn't in an argument. I am one of the ones that definitely means it.

But my best friend is one that says things she doesn't mean when she is angry. Hee sisters are all the same.

I think it's often fundamentally true as in anger your ability to control your rational thought often goes out of the window. However sometimes things are said to try to enact change, hoping you'll recant/roll over but when it's realised that you won't back down or it didn't have the intended effect, there will be backpedaling.

I don’t think it’s true.

Iv said stuff I don’t fully mean when mad.

I wouldn't say it's completely true.

I've said things in anger that I truly haven't meant. It's like the saying "drunk minds speak sober thoughts"

Drunk me talks utter shit!

I think it’s possible to mean something at the time but not when you cool down.

Drunk me talks utter shit too.

To be honest, if the person I was with said something in an argument/bad mood, even if they claim they didn't mean it, it would always be on the back of my mind. I think that at times the negative comment might be something the person always thought, but didn't bring up until the argument happened.

I also think that we don't listen or hear all that is said within an argument. except the really hurtful and dramatic thing. We focus on one comment and not the context in which it was said. Somebody can say "I am in love with you and want to spend my life with but sometimes I worry we live in a dream. " all we hear is the last bit.

True, the last time I was really drunk, I told my DP that I didn't want to live in a universe of too few condiments then secretly Amazon PrimeNow'ed 50 packets of mustard to be delivered an hour later, by which time I'd passed out and they had to unpack a very confusing order.

No, I don’t think it’s necessarily true. When I’ve been angry I’ve dug deep and spat vitriol at DH, because I was looking to say whatever would hurt him the most in that moment. Not proud and honestly never meant a word of it. As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten better at controlling myself.
Obviously this isn’t true for everyone, but in my case it was. Luckily for me DH is laid back and knew I was only venting.

Yes I suppose the answer is sometimes you speak the truth and other times you just say whatever comes out. Maybe I've got a tendency to believe I'm getting the truth when they are just venting.