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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this girl trying to get me back

6 replies

Johnthedohn · 11/01/2019 11:50

Hey guys! Recently I ended things with this girl I was seeing for a while. Basically, I wanted a commitment off her but she didn’t want to jump into a relationship as it was too soon, but she claimed she loved me and she wanted to work at things anyway she started to act weird and ignored me over messages so eventually I just confronted her about it and she thought our predicament was too complex (full story of why it’s so complex is here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3466631-Girl-I-m-seeing-going-on-holiday-with-an-ex?pg=1&order=) so I ended things and I haven’t spoke to her in a few days. She messaged me last night saying she wants to talk to me in person, I asked what about. She claims, “Because it seems pretty shit!
I just want to explain my doubts etc and apologise for being a shit human ( I am massively sorry btw, I treated you like shit and you really really don’t deserve that!)
I also want to explain that no matter what I’ll always be here for your! Your honestly the nicest guy ( far from a horrible person!)” I was like listen we aren’t exactly going to be friends after everything like I think we should get on about our lives and what not like I’ve genuinely got on about my life I’m not going to lie I do miss her but I don’t want my emotions being messed with hence why I ended things. She then goes on to say further into the conversation that she hates this and despite everything that’s happened she wants me to come spend time with her and her family for her birthday. She wants to see me Sunday but I feel this might just be her being nice and trying to be friends with me rather than trying to rekindle. I’m not for that because I genuinely do love her and I couldn’t see her as just a friend. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 11/01/2019 12:15

Block and delete those are my thoughts...

Unless you want to be kept on the bench as an ego boost for her convinience.

Changedname3456 · 11/01/2019 12:54

Yep, you’ll be pegged as backup guy. Keep your dignity - don’t do it.

SparklyMagpie · 11/01/2019 13:16

Wouldn't even bother OP, she's only going to mess you about

maximumcarnage · 11/01/2019 13:24

I remember your previous thread and I am actually delighted you followed everyones advice on this one. Further, her subsequant emails only go to prove that everyones suspicions about her were correct.

Again, as with everyones view point, block, delete and ignore. There's nothing complicated about it. She either wants to be with you or not, the fact she wanted to cosy up to the ex on a holiday and her messages admitting she treated your poorly just go to highlight the kind of woman she is.

I know you may have some feelings attached to her, but instead focus your energies on yourself and finding someone who wants you, with no complications ie another man. You deserve better.

magoria · 11/01/2019 13:32

Block her.

She isn't into you enough that she is going on holidays with other men she has shagged.

Don't give her headspace.

Johnthedohn · 11/01/2019 15:34

Thank you guys for your advice!

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