So this has taken me a lot of sleepless nights building the courage to write this down I guess i can't face it so IV avoid it . I really don't want to be judged I don't really know what I'm looking for kind words advice maybe . Married we have children it's been a decade so lots of history there . He tells me I'm his world makes me so smile I feel so in love with him . Then a year ago I went out it's a rare occasion I came home little bit drunk he didn't like it the next day we argued . He has a evil temper and refuses to let anything thing go so I knew right away I was in for a hell of a few days . So he kicks off so badly I had to call my girlfriend to get me out the house . So I come back later on hoping he would of calmed but no he starts saying how I have no friends how he should teach me a lesson etc etc so I said in retaliation ' I have got friends and she think I should take my kids and go from you ' now she didn't say that I was just angry and snapped so then a few days later I'm begging him to just stop let it go and he tells me I have a choice I continue my friendship with my best friend or I can stay married . He made me feel so bad I'd choose her over him so for 6months I was broken as I had to ignore my friend secret chats etc he would call me a snake everytime I spoke to her . I asked his permission before Christmas to go see her and her baby to gift swap he said yes but I don't want to know don't ever mention her name in this house . So few weeks later and it's yesterday I went to her house while kids were at school I came home very happy he asked were I'd be I didn't want to lie so I told the truth and he went mental called me a snake a dirty little bitch whore etc etc im so so hurt I asked his permission I shouldn't of had to but I did and he said yes so why did he kick off so much ? He goes to work tells me he never loved me was all a lie sex was crap he has cheated then I was getting messages for hours saying ' whore ' die ' please die bitch ' saggy body ' etc then he unfriends me online tells me IL not know what he's getting up to he's getting over me quick now . He literally did this out of no where we have been so happy for ages and boom this . I guess I just dont know what to do . Do I let all this settle and tip toe around untill he might be ok . Or do I leave ? I'm so so hurt my head is torn my heart is torn I don't know what to do I feel so stupid but strong but not strong when he's around . But just wanting to be happy but not wanting to be treated like that ...I know that's really long I just needed to get it all out ! I should also say this was a year ago it's so minor and stupid but he won't let it go .