I know there are a few of us on here who have very similar situations. I've posted before about mine. In October last year I found out my ex-OH was cheating on me with his work colleague (he's in his 40s she is 24/25...cliche midlife crisis stuff). For a whole year he had convinced me that I was over reacting, basically gaslighting me over this supposed 'friendship'. To cut a long story short, I left the night I found the solid evidence of their affair. I'm three months on and I went NC with him from that night and blocked him from my life. His father dealt with helping me with practical things like moving my possessions out etc. On the night I confronted him he was extremely aggressive towards me and my 15yr old DD. It's the one thing that I steer back to whenever I have those fleeting moments of regret that the relationship is over. I know damn well that cutting that baggage (him) out of my life was 100% the right thing to do as well as going NC.
I saw his parents just before Christmas and they both now have come to the realisation that he also lied to them (they came over on the night I confronted him) about this OW. How they deal with that is their decision - he is very immature and relies on them financially.
So, I am very happy living with my DD in our new house. I'm loving the fact I can have everything the way I want it, the freedom, the fact I no longer live with emotional abuse. I am happy in my own company and always have been, but do have a good circle of friends too. I was seeing a counsellor throughout last year which helped in some respects, but even she was blindsided when I told her in my last appointment in November, that I had left him after finding out that he was indeed having an affair. In some of our sessions over the year she would point out examples of his behaviour that indicated he loved me and was invested in our relationship. It was almost like she was unwittingly backing him up. But she was going on information I was bringing to the sessions. Once I found out the 'truth' it was like a massive relief for me. I knew I had been right all along and wasn't going mad/a psycho as I was accused of by him. I haven't felt the urgent need for further counselling, but do wonder if I should go back for a few sessions as I've been experiencing some quite awful dreams and flashbacks.
I just want to know if anyone else experiences this. I had a very vivid dream last night with him in it which has shaken me. I had been having a good week with hardly any thoughts about the ex and OW. The only feeling I have towards him is resentment and anger for what he put my DD and I through.