this will be the second time we have been. Married nearly 11 years, I am breadwinner though only work 3 days a week. DH has always done bits and bobs of work and contributed small amounts financially, but since move 10 months ago has done nothing. I have been quite happy for him not to work but do expect him to pull his weight with the housework in return. Childcare and chores are probably 50:50. I just feel so resentful that he will not routinely do his bit or only when he feels like it. Says he wants to go to work but will not do anything about it. Now arguing lots, both feeling depressed and despairing. I feel a lot of our marriage has been plagued by these issues, and TBH if we did not have 3 lovely kids we would probably have split up by now. I would have trouble at the moment saying that I loved him, but underneath it all I am sure there must be the same guy I fell in love with - good fun, good company, thoughtful and caring. Have only seen glimpses of him over the last few years. Had another almighty row tonight and though we have agreed to go to relate I feel a failure that this will be our second time and should have been able to sort it out by now.