My partner doesn't want to have sec, but doesn't want to split up either

[Edinburghmum86]

Hi. Has anyone ever been in this position. We have a two year old son. Sex has never been a huge part of the relationship, but maybe a weekly thing. Now nothing at all. And if I have mentioned it enough for him to initiate anything then it's as if he tries to get it over with as quickly as possible. I do wamt to end the relationship, if we do go out together socially, it's boring, we don't enjoy each other's company. But when I say I want to end things and the tea so s why, he goes mad and says he doesn't want it to end and why can't I just be happy. I don't really know why he would want to stay in this situation. We don't argue terribly. In fact we are good friends.There is just nothing there as a relationship.

You're needs are not being met. Get out while you're still young.

So just to get this right, you are not intimate as in no sex. And you don’t enjoy each other’s company. Soooo what’s the point then? Also him throwing his toys out the pram because you want to end it? What a delightful and mature individual he is.

Just go. Literally nothing is stopping you. He’s not exactly got you shackled has he? Just say thanks but no thanks and go. Find someone who wants to have sex with you and someone who’s great fun to be around.

Ok so I will give a clearer picture. I feel like I have absolutely made him sound terrible. He says he loves me and says I am beautiful. Does cuddle me. And is a fantastic father. Like he is on about going on holiday...so I think he still loves me. But maybe just not attracted to me. He says he doesn't like himself. But I tell him I like him, but it makes no difference. We do have a little boy with special needs, which is tough on both of us. But things have moved on and he is doing well for now. Would i be a bitch to break up the family. He adores our son.

Bear in mind that if you were a man in here saying their wife was fine other than that they no longer wanted sex you'd be getting a very different response..

Yes exactly Terri. That's why I'm wondering is it the done thing to put up and shut up. I just don't know I've never known anyone in this situation b4.

Just my personal opinion but as the rest of your relationship is acceptable it seems a waste to throw away over this. I think you both need to compromise but also communicate more. Possibly even some couples therapy. If you are that friendly, this can be your joint project. You need to really get to the bottom of the issue. He could have been sexually abused when younger or anything and it'd be tragic if you threw away an otherwise good relationship without having a solid go at fixing it.

if we do go out together socially, it's boring, we don't enjoy each other's company I wouldn’t say this indicates that the rest of the relationship is ok

Can you imagine the next 10. 20, 30 years just plodding along? Just the same as now?

That's why they need to work on it. You can't just expect to have fireworks with someone all the time without working on it.

If you were both unmarried and had no kids I'd say just leave and try someone else but you're both invested a bit more than that now it seems