Using a sex worker

[Flybyblow]

Married 17 years. DH told me recently that about 10 years ago he messaged a chat line. He says it never got further than the initial text as when she replied he panicked. He's not done it again. As he is not a big porn user anyway I am inclined to believe him.

However I do have issues with this, 1. It was direct contact with a sex worker, and it does change my opinion of him that he would take that step.

1. Our relationship was good so I don't get what he was looking for? Or what he wanted to get out of this particular contact.
2. He would have had to find and choose the Chatline so he must have had something definite in mind, and must have visited sites to get the number. If he had the urge then why hasn't he got it now? Hmmm

I am not able to ask him more ATM as we have a huge amount going on family wise so am sidelining it, but it's niggling me and not going away. I will face him with it at some point but any MNs got any wise words to help me deal with it temporarily?

(Oh NC btw, span gran Mexican house thief blah blah)

I’d be wondering why he decided to come clean now - 10yers later....

As to your questions... if it was what he said it was - there isn’t much to worry about. Ask him all the questions you need when you have a chance.
But i’s guess it was an impulse thing. These chats pop up from no where, sometimes. Saw it once in my kids Kindle Fire. 🤷🏻‍♀️
So - guessing it popped up. He said smth. Got a reply and came to his senses.

My 2cents

Thank you, it wasn't a big reveal, tell a secret, types thing, it came up in conversation talking about our teenage son and phone internet access etc. I know it's minor on the MN scale of things but it niggles.

Just ask him questions when the time is right. No reason for this to become a thing that niggles you for any extended period.

For all it’s worth - the reason he mentioned it, without any second thought now, is that there isn’t much more to hide there. If it was anything more serious - he’d never have said anything.
If that makes sense.

Call me cynical but “it just can up” seems very strange after ten years of silence.

It didn't just come up . We were talking about how easy it is to access these things and what safeguards and talks we should be having with our teenage son. I think I may even have mentioned chat lines first. Definitely not leading up to confessing to using them a lot as I actually sort all the bills out so he'd find those costs hard to hide!

Thanks for the head wobble. I shall nip back to my regular name and crack on and bring it up with him when life is smoother.