Husband left me

[Corr]

I have been married 15years. Together 19.i discovered my Hb was meeting a work colleague for coffee behind my back. When I asked him about this. He said he had no friends and she was his only friend. Hb is 39 she is 22. We have 4 young children. He left end of Oct saying he needed space. He says our marriage is over. He was meeting this girl in car parks after work at 1am in the morning. He says nothing has happened. Just he fell out of love with me. We had a good marriage. I'm heart broken. My kids are very upset and taking it out on me.

So sorry, OP. Handhold for you.

So sorry OP. No wonder you are heartbroken.

I feel for you 💐 what a coward to not be able to be honest with you about this girl who I'm assuming is more than just a friend, or a bad influence at best.

Keep strong, when your kids are older they'll realise he's at fault and not you.

Do plenty of self care, treat yourself at this challenging time

Really sorry op, it's so horrible. I went through something like this in the summer. It's a cruel way to end a long marriage. Make sure you have support around you.

Sending all my love

Oh no, such sad news . He still owes you an apology for his disloyalty and how he went about the whole break up process. Stay strong. X

He says he owes me nothing. No explanation, nothing. He told me he would have more sympathy for a stranger. He has told all his work colleagues that I'm a syco and that's why he left me.

That's awful, probably projecting onto you @Corr I had my formerly lovely ex that would have done anything for me laughing in my face like a complete stranger when I found out he cheated with a teenager co-worker.

Don't take any explanation, they can't give you any unless they were remorseful and wanted to work things out.

There's no need for him to be so cruel, he's left hasn't he?

You're better off out of it OP. Big hugs.

Yes. Gone 9wks now. Sees the kids on Tues for 3hrs and Sat. He has turned my oldest boy against me. He is like a man I never knew

OP when you say he’s turned your oldest boy against you, what do you mean? Is he saying bad stuff about you? That’s against the law now. It’s called “parental alienation”. Go see a solicitor and speak to them about it

Yes. Everytime he has the children my oldest comes back and says he hates me and I'm not a mother.

That's so typical of ex's, any flimsy excuse to justify their lying, cheating backside. Calling you a psycho and trying to brainwash your son? Now that's pushing boundaries. And I'm sure you've been playing it cool by not telling the kids exactly what their "daddy" did and now he's playing it to his advantage. He'll get his comeuppance. Maybe at some point, have a heart to heart chat with your eldest? He'll definitely come around

I'm so sorry OP. Definitely talk to a solicitor about contact with your children. He sounds unhinged to be honest.

Start keeping a diary of what happens when the children come back from contact. And tell a solicitor about this when you go for legal advice. Parental alienation is an offence now.

With your DC be kind and loving. Don't bad mouth their father, rise above it (bad mouth here or to friends). And do make sure school know, they may be able to offer some counselling.

Hi Corr - I’m sorry your having such a bad time. You must be devastated.
Have you got some real life support.
He’s has no bloody right to try and destroy your relationship with your children.
He’s carrying a lot of guilt and the only way it’s bearable to him is to put you down - to justify going.
Do your children know why he left.
Yes to counselling through school for your son.
What about YOU?
Is he paying maintainace?
You’d be better starting divorce proceedings.
Have as little contact with him as you can.
🌺🌺

Sending hugs OP... I can’t recommend counselling enough for the kids if you think they need it. You don’t deserve this treatment and there’s some great reading to be done on here xx

His relationship won't last .What 22 year old wants a guy with 4 kids approaching 40? Probably senior to her at work and she was flattered.
But that is no reason to ever take him back.
With regards to your son, I would say to him that he is being very unkind and did Dad say something to make him feel that way about you? That he would like to talk about? Calmly answer any questions without slagging Dad off ..," well, that is not

exactly , etc"
Please cover yourself and the kids financially ASAP as well as keeping records of contact .
So sorry you and the children are going through this

Have a look at this

www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parental-alienation/

Thank you everyone for all your advice and support.

What a peach, he’s pulling it all straight from the cheaters handbook. This is called blame shifting and rewriting marital history so he can get away with having an affair. Deep down he knows what he’s doing is wrong so he’s shifting blame.

Rest assured this pair of idiots won’t survive. Google affair fog or limerance, he’s deeply stuck there but knowing that doesn’t help you.

You’ll be in shock, please take care of yourself. Go no contact with this man apart from finance concerns and children. No contact means no new hurts. Do not listen to his nonsense.

If they cheat with you, they’ll cheat on you. They’ll get there comeuppance but you’ll be long gone and living much happier life.

Now you need to seek legal advice. And talk to your son in an age appropriate way. Counselling for all of you.

What this man has done is despicable. I’m
so sorry.

Rise above it. Your kids will see him what he is and come back to you xx