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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Living with ex..

3 replies

zobo90 · 08/01/2019 21:37

We have been broken up for 6 months now. My decision. He was emotionally abusive to me for 8 years making me feel crap about myself and every single aspect of my life. Since we've broke up he's had a total personality overhaul but I still have no interest in being in a relationship with him.

Neither of us can afford to move out just yet which is an absolute disaster as he's still taking the break up really bad. He's still somehow got a hold on me and I still freeze up whenever he around which I know is no way to live. It looks like I'm going to have to be the one to leave but I'm very empathetic towards his feelings. How do I stop myself from feeling absolutely terrible? Lately I feel like his mental health nurse as all he does is drink, smoke weed, cry about me and threatens to kill his self. I obviously still really deeply care for him but I feel like I'm constantly walking on egg shells, more so now than the past 8 years.

Just wondering if anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation? Thanks x

OP posts:
Knackeredmommy · 08/01/2019 21:45

Did it for 18 months. In the end I took the kids and rented, it just wasn't worth my mental health. I saved and used my 1/2 of the house sale money to buy a small place after 3 yrs. I kept my distance I didn't do anything for him. He was on the sofa. So I'd go to bed the same time as the kids and went out as much as I could at weekends. My friends kept me sane. Move out as soon as you can. Xx

Alysanne · 09/01/2019 05:41

I lived with my ex for 6 months after we broke up. He moved his mum in a second time and she got what she wanted! (Seriously the woman was a nightmare, stealing from my bag etc)

It was bad enough dealing with him being emotionally abusive but I had his mother walking around acting like she owned the place. They ended up moving out together and she even stole some of my stuff when they left! To be fair when I realised what she stolw I just burst out laughing. The relief they were gone was amazing.

You're right it will be you that has to move out. Don't let him emotially blackmail you. Yes, he'll cry and try all sorts but once your settled in a place of your own you'll feel so much better. Good luck x

GigglesForEd · 09/01/2019 06:16

You don't say if you have kids. If not, can't you move in with family/afford a roomshare?

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