Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Moving on?

1 reply

beachcitygirl · 08/01/2019 20:07

Hello all.

Just wondered if anyone had any advice. I want to do the right thing by this lovely man, but having left an emotionally abusive marriage previously after years of gaslighting and a narcissistic Mother i dont really trust my own judgement.
I was left homeless after my ex hideous financial decisions, i had been with my new partner just under a year. Myself and 12 year old moved in with him temporarily with him bearing all costs. He has been nothing short of fantastic. I got a lovely council home in a fab area about 6 months ago but in that time we have grown a lot closer and are now approaching 2 years together and my daughter adores him.
He is keen for us to live together and i would like that too. He has a beautiful home in the country with mortgage all paid off.
He has 4 adult kids although he is still relatively young and understandably he wants to make sure they have some inheritance and he also wants me looked after.
I however am scared, I earn a very good living and as finances sort themselves out i am now earning more than him as he is approaching retirement age.
I am not in a position to buy anything singularly or jointly just at the moment.
I also want to eventually be able to leave something for my daughter and to feel happy and secure going into my 50's.
i dont want to find myself in a situation where worst case happens and i find myself thrown out of my home when his kids want to sell. I cant see the wood from the trees and how we can move on together. How we can live together.
I dont want to give up my flat to move in with him without any security, purely because of what i have been through so recently.
Has anyone else ever navigated such a situation or can offer advice?
I should add that i completely agree his children should inherit and he is a fantastic fair and kind and loving man and all this aside i would live with or marry him in a heartbeat. (my divorce is ongoing and painful and difficult so not an option at the mo)
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
SuperSuperSuper · 08/01/2019 23:16

This situation - a newish middle-aged couple who both have DC but none together - is not that rare OP. A solicitor could advise you. He should take legal advice too. Don't just move into a house that he owns though, esp if unmarried.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page