New relationship gone bit wrong

[Bumbelinadance]

Background is ...
I am mid 40s single Mum to Ds12 special needs
Have posted before about how rubbish Ds father is ( chosen not to see Ds for 2 years , went self employed to avoid maintenaince etc etc )
Ex dp of 4 years left for ow with less baggage ( have posted historically about this and got lots of kind support from mumsnet ) then tried to extort money from me
Recovered from heartache eventually
Internet dated sort of after 2 years single — nobody impressed me much

Reconnected with childhood freind 2 months ago
Dated
Was lovely
Got on famously
Very natural
Lots of attention from him
Was lovely to be wined and dined again
No sex at my request , having been burnt I wanted to wait
But lots of long conversations
Hugs and snogs , evenings in front tv and nights out
He came over a lot and did lots of Diy on my crumbling home

It was lovely because of family connection but kep quiet over festive period at my request . If it went Pete tong I would be embaressed and didn’t want gossip affecting his teenage dd( Freinds with my nieces and goddaughters )

Last Friday new mans elderly dad taken ill
he was hospilitised but now released ,as I understand it needing care and support .
Obviously I feel genuine empathy as knew his dad when I was a child

So Friday night was cancelled by text by him
Then Saturday by text
He was coming over last night and I had cooked dinner and a second casserole for him to take to his mum at this difficult time ( that’s my working class background way of doing stuff and it’s his background also )
I wanted to be supportive
He didn’t text to cancel .. just didn’t show up

We got into a text argument about it late last night
It sort of went off a cliff
I had my period and felt hormonal and upset
He said I was attacking him
It wasn’t a nasty argument
Just immature from both parties .. lots of “ fine by me “ messages

Ready to be flamed for being an unsupportive cow
But the thought of falling out with a childhood freind upsets me
Especially him as he is a lovely man and was very sweet with Ds who isn’t straightforward

I messaged him today to say I was sorry ,
And was happy to take a back seat and be a supportive freind
That I thought he was a super person , I miss him but am sorry I made it about me when he is struggling

Got no reply

I need to let this one go don’t i.?he obviously doesn’t want to engage with me and I probably am a horrid,selfish cow
It was so nice though

Any advice gratefully received

Yellowstick
I reciprocated

Why would I have sex with someody before I trusted them
..?Its my body
My choice

I agree with you. You’re not obliged to have sex with him until you feel comfortable with doing so.

He sounds a twat to me. Look at it this way, your got some stuff sorted in your house by him. He is bang out of order not bothering to cancel. Leave him to his own devices.

Be yourself, enjoy your Friday night and take it all day at a time 💐🥂

Not sure about this one. The not texting you to cancel was pretty crap. But otherwise, he sounds like he may deserve the benefit of the doubt, and isn't really a tosser.

But mostly I came on to say that I think you sound like a really, really, lovely person and you should absolutely hold your head high .

Yeah. You will be fine.

I think I would have telephoned on the Sunday night when he was a no-show and asked what was going on? He's an old friend, you know him well, so why not phone?

However, that said he was out of order not turning up without letting you know. That is very rude and you deserved a fulsome apology for that. If his Dad had been rushed back to hospital or taken a significant turn for the worse, very understandable, but otherwise it is just rude.

Does now sound like it wasn't relationship material for some reason or another, so you're probably best off knowing that sooner than later.

Onwards, onwards .......