I need advice on aggressive Husband

[Mumtochicks]

Hi, my husband and I got into a huge argument last night about our DDs birthday party. He always criticises my ideas puts obsticles in the mix which is so frustrating. The row got out of hand with lots of swearing from both sides. He's so aggressive with his actions shouting making fists, banging on the table. So I threw a glass of water over him. I know I shouldn't have but I was angry and thought it might snap him out of the aggressive behavior. It didn't. It made it worse and he slammed a glass down, grabbed a vase tore up all my flowers threw them on me then grabbed me by my top lifted me up to his face and continued screaming at me which was really scary. He is on medication for depression and has run out of pills so taking half the dosage. He has been aggressive to me in the past, never hit me but pushed and shoved. I just feel like my love for him has vanished, his aggressive actions repulse me, but did I egg him on? He is the best dad ever to our 3 girls what can I do?

Why hasn't he got more pills rather than cold turkey half his dosage?

That aside, you sound as bad as each other. There is no excuse for turning an argument physical.

It’s sounds like pretty ugly behaviour on both sides but to varying degrees. Your children shouldn’t have to grow up with this an example of a relationship.

You both have to sort out things so this never happens again. At the very least both of you need to get to a doctor but he should not be messing around with medication. That’s just dangerous for all of you.

I know it is difficult to support someone with depression. Some people are just not cut out for it. A symptom of his illness is negativity and if you want to be with him you will need to be able to deal with it. I don’t actually think you should be with him as he is out of control and a threat to you. Maybe that’s fixable but probably not in the home.

Nobody behaving as you described is a good parent.

100% what LemonTT said

Yeah, I couldn't have put it better. Lemon has the right idea.

Do you really think he is still the best dad ever to your three girls?. No he really is not.

What do you think of him as a husband?. What are you getting out of this relationship now?.

Is this really the model of a relationship you both want to be teaching them?. How much of his behaviour is due to depression and how much of this is actually due to him being an abusive human being who is using depression as an excuse to further abuse you?.

Depression is no excuse for aversion. Although you threw water over him he is obviously bigger and stronger and is using that.
I was in an abusive relationship for 8 years, there is no excuse to behave that way to you. He needs to go and get it sorted now or you need to tell him to leave, simple as that. Otherwise it will go further and do t believe that it won't because I've been the woman waking up on the floor with hand marks round her neck - put a stop to it now.