Red flags and doubt !

[user1470296287]

Hi I have recently come out of a 9 month relationship which on the surface was good he ticked every box on my wish list of the right man for me.
But.....I suppose after a long marriage and being left for another woman I was vulnerable even after spending 2 years on my own healing. These are the red flags I missed

Rushing me into a full on relationship
Love bombing which at first was so nice to feel valued again, flowers perfume and weekend away.
Telling me he had fallen in love with me after two weeks and I was the kindest person he had ever met...he didn’t really know me.
Wanting me to move in with him as he hated being alone and me almost falling for it and selling my house and getting a mortgage with him to buy his family home !!! (Scary)
He would grope my boobs constantly when we were alone and then in front of friends when out for the evening (that was the final straw for me)
Had terrible road rage
Would call his ex wife of 32 years the “C..T”
The sex was very one way and really awful.

I could go on with lots of other little things that now we are over I can’t believe I was so stupid as to think we had a future together, but I fell for him as he was so generous and attentive and what i mistook for loving it’s really scary to look back and think I believed I was his one and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

It’s been nearly 4 weeks since I finished it and I have no regrets but feel a total fool to have fallen for this type of relationship after everything I had been through with my exh, I have now decided I want to stay single.

My colleague is single and on Tinder and quite happily dating, we were having a coffee break last week and she was flicking through her tinder when she showed me the profile of the man I had just come out of this relationship with, I wasn’t sad or hurt but felt quite chilled to think he is now back on there trying to find his next meal ticket !

I just wanted to post to maybe warn others to not be as stupid or gullible as me as I thought I was a pretty good judge of character and please don’t ignore any red flags however small as they become big problems over time.

Hello good of you to post this but dont beat yourself up for making a mistake with a relationship - many of us have done it; it takes time to find out who people really are which is the advice really. Take your time before making a commitment. Good on you for ending it and recognising you deserve better. Wishing you well.

Don't beat yourself up. You didn't miss the red flags at all; it just took you a while to recognise them. Then once you did, you finished the relationship.

I think you should be proud of yourself!

There's nothing wrong with being single for a while. I've just started a new relationship after being single for 3 years and to be honest I had doubts about leaving my single days behind.... so much easier - no need to compromise etc.

Take your time, enjoy having the bed and the remote control to yourself and just enjoy life. You'll be fine.

Did you get the money back for your house. Wanting to move in quickly is a red flag. I always say give it 5 years then if you are still happy together then it's time to discuss it. Glad you got out safely.

Hi,
I never got as far as selling my house it was on the market for 1 day and I just knew it was the wrong thing to do.
Yes your right I know I did the right thing getting out when I did and I have no regrets, it just really scares me how addictive lovebombing and being swept up can be when you have been rejected by your exh it is not a path I will be trotting down again.

Let's hope any Tinder women unfortunate enough to get involved with Mr Boobfondler- Cashsucker have their twatdar calibrated

Thank goodness for that. You still have your home. Ask to take it slowly when you date again. A genuine man will understand.