Baggage from past infidelities...

[StarbucksPoo]

I’m struggling to deal with my baggage from past infidelities.

My husband cheated on me for 7 years so I divorced him, having tried repeatedly to forgive and move on about 6 times (he just kept going back to her).

I then dated two men. One was cheating with at least one other. It fizzled out anyway. The other had several on the go and so that ended rather dramatically because he had the audacity to ask me to become a FWB (having treated me as one without my knowledge anyway).

I’m now finally, FINALLY with a lovely man. I love him dearly. He’s nothing like the others. I do trust him and have absolutely no reason to doubt him.

But I have weird triggers. He is Facebook friends with a former lover he knows through work. He occasionally likes her posts “to be polite”. She likes a lot of his posts and makes comments. This winds me up.

I know he wouldn’t. But I strongly suspect she would try.

No idea how to handle this situation. I’m feeling insecure and jealous. Deeply upsetting as it’s unfounded.

I suppose I have two questions:

What to do re: the former lover on Facebook? I haven’t asked him to unfriend her, since he’s done nothing wrong.

What to do generally to help get over feeling so insecure and triggered because of my past?

Thank you x

Well tbf, I was the type of person would ask him to unfriend her lol It probably wouldn't be a deal for him if he doesn't have any dealings with her anymore.. HOWEVER, if she notices it will then create more of a scene and you will look like a physco. So here's my new approach and how I've dealt with my shit.
In previous years I heard a rumour that my partner "cheated on me"..never no proof, never no names, never no location and then rumor was denied when I confronted the person who said it. HOWEVER , it mentally destroyed me for years, I knew I loved my partner so much and I honestly didn't think he would do such a thing on me, so when I heard this.. it ruined me, it tampered with my trust, I began to think maybe I'm being a fool and everyone is talking about me when I post a photo of us together, i accused and what not else for Years, I was SO PARANOID. I made him delete everyone and anyone off everything, then it dawned on me only last year, that these are all insecurities I aloud someone else create for me, I let this bitchy girl destroy my self worth. Think about it, don't allow your past experiences ruin you, he is a completely new and different person, you are happy, if there is ever anything more extreme that you see that makes you think he's not what you think ...query then .. A "like" on a picture sometimes means very little, think of the happiness this man brings you instead.
Let it go from your mind and remind yourself it's only a picture and he wants YOU.

Yes - I know that likes really do mean sod all in this case.
Hopefully this woman will get the message eventually anyway. 🙄