Is my relationship over/in danger?

[SimplySteve]

I've posted about my loss of libido before (Libido vanished www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sex/3433264-libido-vanished) and there hasn't been sex yet but we've been talking about it a lot, made some "purchases" that have just arrived but tonight when I asked DP if she wanted a cuddle (just a cuddle, no intimate feeling implied or expected) and I've been turned down, twice, a few hours apart with no reason. Huge part of me is thinking my 20+ year relationship is doomed, am I right? Or overreacting?

Ahh, she's talking to her ex on fb too.

No, this doesn't mean your relationship is doomed! I've read your previous post that you linked and it sounds like you have a fantastic and trusting, strong relationship. This sounds like a glitch. Have you seen your GP yet about the meds and their possible impact on your libido? How do you know she is talking to her ex on FB? Does she regularly have contact with him..? Hmmm not sure how is feel about that but obviously it depends if they have retained a friendship which she's been open about with you.

Yes, seen the GP. Likely is one of my meds, my testosterone is also low. The med in question needs to be tapered down over 6-8 weeks then an alternative can be prescribed.

My mistake too, it's our son talking to the ex not her. My stupid mistake not reading properly.

Thanks for the post and yeah, the relationship is open and solid, hopefully I'm just misreading this situation (cuddles) and being irrational. It's an emotionally difficult time of year for me anyway.

I remember your post.
Have you been to a doctor yet?

If my partner has gone off sex for a year+ and not bothered to try to get to the bottom of that - because it’s ‘difficult to talk to a doctor’ - i’d slowly start checking out of the relationship. Because i’d assume he has already.

Sorry.

Saw the update after I posted.
Great that you finally saw the GP!

Seems that you are on a tight track then. And I hope meds and testosterone would help.

Just talk to her and don’t jump to quick conclusions based on one act.

I'm glad to hear it's your daughter and not your wife talking to her ex (not that that would necessarily be a problem, of course).

Don't beat yourself up - it takes guts to go to a professional about something so personal but you've got to the bottom of it and are in the process of sorting it.

I would not interpret her not wanting to cuddle as a bad sign. There could be a million and one reasons why she doesn't feel like it - just give her space and trust that you have a strong enough bond to continue communicating with each other.

Thanks peeps, I've also started the process of getting counselling, there are many childhood abuse and neglect issues that are destroying me that I need to express.

So I'm pushing to get things sorted I really am.