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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

EX told me over whatsapp his gf is 38 weeks pregnant

13 replies

AlwaysSunshine81 · 07/01/2019 15:47

So we have been split up 18 months. He moved in with his parents and then moved in with another woman last jan. he has constantly messaged me at night telling me how he still loves me and wants me back and how he’s not happy with GF.
his mum passed away October and I was there for him, spoke to him for over an hour on the phone while he was driving to see her the night she passed, went to the funeral and supported him. Thoight maybe there was a small chance we could get back together. He wanted to come over after the funeral and he did and stayed the night 🤦🏻‍♀️
He dropped DD off last night and spent about an hour chatting and playing which was nice.
Then he was up to his usual tricks and messaged me late at night and told me she is 38 weeks pregnant, DD (4) knows nothing about a baby.
I devestated. I don’t really know how I’m goijg to deal with this

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/01/2019 18:17

It's his baby and his mess. What's there for you to deal with? Wish him well and move on with your life, and I suggest limiting contact to only when it involves your child.

funnylittlefloozie · 07/01/2019 18:29

Does he pay proper maintenance for DD? If so, thats all you need to focus on. His poor cow of a GF doesnt know what she's getting herself into.

funnylittlefloozie · 07/01/2019 18:32

Btw, does your DD not know what a pregnant woman looks like? Even at 4, most children understand "that lady's tummy is big because there is a baby in it " (i am still traumatised from the trip to the shopping centre days after my DD learned that fact). Does her dad keep her and the new GF apart?

AlwaysSunshine81 · 07/01/2019 18:36

Thanks everyone, I was after a bit of support. After months of him messaging me telling me he loves me and how unhappy he is with her.... he gives my maintance yes albeit not much

OP posts:
AlwaysSunshine81 · 07/01/2019 18:37

SHe has just turned 4. She knows what a pregnant lady looks like but I think the woman has been covering it up

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 07/01/2019 18:42

Why did you allow him to stay the night when you know he's with someone else?

AlwaysSunshine81 · 07/01/2019 18:42

Daddy told her she ate all the pies and didn’t leave any for them hence the big timmy

OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 07/01/2019 18:46

Im sorry i didnt sound very supportive. I think you put your finger on it though - he is "up to his usual tricks". He's playing games with your head, and probably with hers as well. Hes got two kids by two different women so far, doesnt really support one and most likely won't do a particularly good job of supporting the other... he's not exactly a catch, is he?

In your shoes i would deal with it by congratulating myself that he was no longer my problem, and reminding myself that he doesn't love me, he's just a manipulative, game-playing tosser. It hurts for a bit, but you do get over it.

NameChangeNugget · 07/01/2019 18:48

So you knew he was with someone else yet, chose to spend the night with him.....?

He sees you as a sex toy and nothing else I think.

Leave him be & concentrate on making your life brilliant Flowers

category12 · 07/01/2019 18:57

So basically he's jerked you around and sucked you back in, only for you to find he's just the same as he ever was and the reasons you split whatever they were, were excellent and you shouldn't have entertained his protestations.

What you do from here, is stop giving him headspace and bedspace. Keep communication to practical matters about your dc together only.

Have a good old weep and wallow on the quiet for a short time, then pick yourself up and on you go.

SaveKevin · 07/01/2019 19:07

Oh love. What a shit he is. He’s beem stringing you along and not putting all his eggs in one basket “just in case”. Until he’s had to.
His poor girlfriend, he’s clearly not committed to her or the baby.
Your kids are going to be siblings so as tempting as it would be I wouldn’t rush to tell her. Have a good cry and chalk it up to experience, you have the knowledge to know what an absolute bastard he is. Put your energy into you and dd. Who, let’s face it, is going to need a lot of support with this bomb about to go off.

AlwaysSunshine81 · 07/01/2019 19:07

THats better thank you ladies! I spoke to his sister tonight who has know for. A while and she is disgusted with him.
Yeah I spent the night with him. It was a difficult time loosing his mum and I did think maybe we could get back together.
He’s actually has a 19 yr old son who he hasn’t seen for 7 years which was always odd for me.
Tonight I have been trying to think positive and think thank god I’m not with him anymore

OP posts:
AgentJohnson · 07/01/2019 19:12

Urgh, you knew he was in a relationship but didn’t cut him off. Why would you want to be with a man who was disrespecting his gf in the way that he was?

Congratulations, you played yourself. Time to move on.

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