Basically as the title says . My boyfriend of nearly three years dumped me in the cruelest way on Boxing Day so he could spend New Years Ece with his new girlfriend and worse I’ve found out that he’s cheated on me st least twice before and was attempting to get other women into bed 😞
I started seeing him after being friends for a few years . It wasn’t an easy relationship as looking back I think he’s quite narcissistic and would gaslight me a lot but I was so involved I ignored it . To everyone inc his family we were a couple . We did everything together and I’d spent family christmases with him etc . His family loved me .. but he would not officially label us saying he didn’t want to tempt fate after previous failed relationships etc which always upset me greatly .we live about an hour from each other but saw each other a lot and spoke daily however in the summer I noticed he was spending a lot of time messaging another woman on Facebook who he had known for years . I asked him about it and he claimed it was just friends but obviously I was suspicious
I found myself obsessively stalking her Instagram page where he was liking literally everything she posted of which most were pics of her in s figure hugging dress etc . I should add we are all in our late forties .
Eventually in October I’d had enough and as we were due to go on holiday together I challenged him about her and he erupted into a rage and said he’d had enough if my paranoia and not to bother coming away with him .
I was very upset but took him at his word . Cancelled my childcare plans and got on with other things . He went on holiday without me but spent the whole holiday blowing up my phone with calls and texts saying how much he missed me etc ... then came home from his holiday and went to visit the OW ! I was horrified and called him up demanding to know what was going on and he said I was over reacting and he’d gone to see her as a friend etc and told me we we were over and to get out if his life . From that point onwards he almost harassed me with phone calls and messages saying nothing happened and that he missed me and begged me to go and visit him . I refused as by that point I just wasn’t convinced then he asked me for Christmas at his parents . As my children were going to be away . I agreed and had a lovely Christmas there and he spent the entire time professing his undying love to me . He showed me text messages between him and the OW which seemed to have confirmed that it was just meeting as friends and that she was seeing someone else at the time .
Then he dropped the bombshell that as he hadn’t really known what was going on at New Year he had invited her for New year at his parents ! I was so upset but he stood his ground and said she was invited now so it was too late .. I went home on Boxing Day in tears . He rang later and said I was over reacting as he wasn’t interested in her in that way and that it would never work as she was three hours from him
He then proceeded to cut contact with me . Ignoring my texts etc and blocked my phone number . I was beside myself . I checked her Instagram and she’s posted a pic of a cosy dinner with him and a gin bar with both their glasses next to each other . I felt sick . Finally he contacted me on Friday and told me he was fed up if all the crap from me . I was jealous etc etc and that he just didn’t see a future with me . After a long call we arranged to go for a drink and the inevitable happened . Followed by him telling me how much I meant to him etc .... thennas he sank more drink he finally blurred out that he had indeed slept with her at New Year and that he really liked her but he wasn’t sure if it was going to be anything .. I was mortified but tbh not surprised . When he went to sleep I decided to look at his iPad .. not right I know but it was all there all the messages between them for months . Lots of flirting and general bonding . They were messaging every day and after New Year he’d messaged her asking how she felt about him and they had agreed they wanted to give things a ho 😢 Then there were lovely dovey “miss you “ messages etc and him saying he couldn’t believe he’d known her so long and hadn’t looked st her that way (he said the same to me ) He’d also been telling her for months that I was a platonic friend who had a crush on him ! The night he’d met me he had told her he was going out with friends.. so just a few days in and he’s already cheated on her ! He’d messaged another friend saying he was in love 😢
I looked back through as I couldn’t help myself and discovered that he had slept with someone else a year ago and 18 months ago was seeing someone behind my back .I felt empty . The next morning I held my head high and thanked him for his honesty and said I wished him well and wouldn’t be in touch again . He started flapping saying he really wasn’t sure about her and that I was perfect for him but things I’d done wrong in the past had contributed to this 🙄 There was no remorse nothing . I went home and sent him one last message saying I was moving on etc and he tried to call me about three times which so ignored . I cried so much I gave myself a headache and although I’d never want him back . I feel utterly destroyed and I’m not sure how to move on 😞