Confused

[gstary]

Constantly confused on what I want

In regard to?

Any advice will be helpful.

The thought of getting back with my ex makes me want to cry, but when I am next to him I feel happy and I get a little preview of how our life could be together again.
We were together for few years before I found out I was pregnant and he was cheating on me. I forgave him but he still contuined to cheat then I ended the relationship. 4 years later we decided to give it another go but I constantly get stressed by the thought of him cheating on me again. He promised me he has changed, that he has grown up but I can’t stop but to worry that he will cheat again.
He put me through a lot during my pregnancy and didn’t help a lot to raise our daughter. He lives 10 minutes away from my house but he goes weeks without seeing him.
Now He want to us to give it another go as he has changed and move in together but I am worried and I often start to cry by the thought of me wanting to give him a second chance.
I feel like running away, I keep talking about starting over when I die constantly. The thought of being with him, makes me loose the will of living . At the same time I am agree to move in with him.
When I ended things with him before I had to see a therapist, that’s how bad this situation affected me.
I have agreed for him to sell he’s house to move in with us but i can’t sleep since I said yes. I constantly crying and scared of him treating me like he did before. It’s very crucial for me, for my daughter to have her father in her life.everyone keep telling me I am in love with him but I don’t know if I am.
Please don’t judge me for my writing. I am still learning English.
Ps he was seeing the other lady for 3 years behind my back and I was with him for 7 years.

Instead of looking at a preview of a fantasy life - look back on the shite one he has given you so far.
Run op and don't look back.

You're english is just fine, so don't worry about that. Besides I am sure your english is better than my...well, whatever language is your native tongue.

On a seperate note your are absolutely insane going back to him. He treated you in an atrocious manner, further he cheated on your often and over a long period of time. He also breaks his promises. Which means trust is never going to be a thing in this relationship. I also fear he is taking advantage of your nature to get what he wants, when he wants it.

I don't know if you have any family or friends you can lean on for support, I suspect probably not locally, but if you do please do lean on them for support. I would also be inclined to move further away, 10 minutes away is 10 minutes too close. Also, don't have him move in. Crazy thought I know, but I think you are entitled to meet someone who is trustworthy, loving and doesn't cheat. He isn't good for you, and you know it. Hence why it's all so upsetting for you. You've given him a chance, it didn't work out. Why put yourself through it again?

You need to get out of dodge, and pronto!

THanks xxxx

I wear size 10-12 clothes, size 12 it’s actually a little big, it just depends on which shop, I buy my clothes from.

For the past two years my family keep talking about my weight like I am overweight.
They all keep calling me fat etc, they constantly talking about my weight, how I used to be pretty but now I am not anymore, how my stomach starting to show instead of it being really flat.
I am comfortable with my body but It’s becoming very upsetting, that they keep talking about it to everyone even when I am not there.
It’s like the new topic for them.
They keep telling me to miss meals and breakfast in order for me to loose weight.
I have heard voice messages of them slagging me of about my weight, I have confronted them about it but they said, they saying all this because they love me. I told them to back of but they keep talking about me behind my back, even the guys that like me.

How do I get them to stop making me feel bad about my weight.