Feel awful about lying

[Notsure2067]

Sorry if this is tmi in advance. I was in a long term relationship for 7 years. I had a great relationship with my partner but in that time I never orgasmed with him. I just faked it.

6 months ago I met someone else and we are now in a relationship. He’s great in bed but from the start, I just decided to be honest and never faked it. He told me not to worry and that it would happen. He’s been really kind and considerate but I’ve felt worried about it as I thought I could sense him also thinking this was taking a long time. So the last several times I have faked it. He now thinks I can orgasm with him but the truth is it’s all lies. I feel terrible for lying to him and want to tell him the truth but I feel he’d be upset and maybe not trust me anymore.

He’s good in bed and slept with many other people than me and it’s made me a bit paranoid and insecure and I think is partly why I thought it would be easier to just fake it.

Should I continue or maybe just come clean.

Well if you feel bad about lying, you should stop. Does you credit that you dislike doing it however. And so long as he knows your enjoying it that shouldn’t dent his ego.

Matter of interest, do you orgasm through oral? Or/and when you take care of yourself? Or has this been an issue for you always?

Well now OP. You're actually asking a few questions...

1 is it ever acceptable to lie?
2 what really are the importance of orgasms anyway in the context of a semi commited/commuted relationship?
3 should I continue to lie?

Why do you need, honestly to ask MN which should be self evident? You don't need MN as your moral compass here.

So why are you asking?

I can orgasm by myself but have never done so with a partner.

How old are you, Op?
Are these two men the only men you’ve been with?

Thing is, many women have trouble orgasming, especially with PIV sex only. And if you want to figure out how your body works and how to orgasm with a partner - you’ll need to communicate. And be open to trying things.
Issues with faking it ‘because it’s

I don’t know how important this is to you, but perhaps if you showed him what works for you he can better please you? Then the necessity for lying would be a moot point. A good loving partner should be receptive to learning what makes their partner happy. And of course orgasms aren’t the be all, end all. But surely it’d be nice and you shouldn’t have to lie about it.

That's good that you can but you havnt answered my questions...

Oops - posted too soon

Issue with faking ‘because it’s easier’ is that you’ll may never get to a place where it works.

Tell him, and explain why you pretended. Don’t let it snowball.
If he is into you, he’ll understand.

For me it also took several years between having sex and being able to orgasm with a partner. Took a particularly considerate partner who kept trying and won’t let me give up.
But j knew I could come on my own.

This is the first thing you need to figure out - how you can come on your own.
Get a rabbit? For yourself - or to play with your bf?
He’ll think it hot.

Renarde, the OP doesn't have to answer your questions.

Indeed she does not. Why do you feel the need to point it out that she does not?

I'm just asking the simple point why does MN need to provide the moral compass?

In terms if vibes though, I personally think rabbits are gawd awful. And I've had many vibes and several rabbits over the years including a first generation one.

Ann Summers still can't get it right.

But vibes actually aren't the answer, the real answer is can you do it yourself?

I can orgasm by myself but I think the problem is for so long now I can only orgasm alone and by fantasising in my head. I just can’t seem to get into a particular zone with someone else.

You know I never understand how you can fake it. An orgasm is also a physical thing so your partner would know if you have had one or not

You know I never understand how you can fake it. An orgasm is also a physical thing so your partner would know if you have had one or not

Absolutely not true. Mine feel like insides are contracting like mad but ex couldn’t feel the sensation. I was always surprised as it felt so strong.

@chopc Oh my sweet summer child.

OPm are you orgasming through clitoral or vaginal (or both) stimulation?

Tell your current partner (or next if you cant bear to tell the truth) that you've never had an orgasm with a partner and would he please do X.

PSA: You will probably fart during orgasm. It happens. I tell all the guys it's a compliment and means I am really relaxed with them. (Bollocks. It's a phyisical thing that also happens when I mastubate.)