Advice needed on how to leave.

[Confused2019]

So I posted earlier in the week and got some pretty good advice, what I know deep down, that I should probably end my relationship. There’s nothing wrong, it’s just not right and not quite working. I love DP, but it’s just not enough for me and I don’t feel attracted to him all of the sudden. I feel like a terrible person for feeling this way.

I am hoping some of you will be able to guide me on how to deal with this all. I’m going to see a professional in a few weeks (due to availability, not putting it off) because I feel I need to get my head straight anyway and will probably need the help when I finally end things. However I don’t really know how to find the words. I appreciate I need to put on my big girl pants but really what do I even say?

I also don’t know what to do with the financial side of things. We have been together for five years, bought a house, have done up the house and everything is split down the middle. I can’t afford to take on the mortgage, he probably could but doesn’t have the money to buy me out. We would probably have to sell toward the end of our fixed mortgage period. Does anyone have any experience of this?

They are a few things you could do depending on how amicable and cooperative you want to be. The obvious one is to sell up straight away. Then you both get to move on with your lives. Otherwise one of you buys out the other but this means an increased mortgage.

Or one of you could continue to live there and essentially rent half of the house off the other by paying the full mortgage. Both of you retain the house as an investment and would split the equity when it is sold. This is useful in the short term if you need to ride out a slump in the market or wait a period of time before selling. The downside one of you will have their capital tied up and will not be able to buy in the short term. But it’s worth considering if now isn’t the right time to sell but you are keen to live separately quickly. There are more complicated versions of this whereby the couple split the total cost of the mortgage and rental property. This recognises that rent is more expensive.