What have I just done? Please help me make sense of this.

[Suesie]

I am 6 months post partum.
Baby is not sleeping and I have been poorly for 2 weeks, although I am getting better. I am just very tired. I didnt think I had ppd as I did with DC1, however I have just completely lost it and smashed a picture in my lounge after hurling something at it.
Basically, getting DCs ready for bed. We have piles of washing to put away before tomorrow as I have someone coming to the house.
DC1 was following me around talking incessantly as I did a few last minute jobs, DH was getting the baby ready for bed and he was screaming. DC1 was being v repetitive and followed me into the toilet, I repeatedly asked her to go to her room and i would be there shortly but she wanted me to play a game and kept repeating "so you're the lion, I'm the monkey" over and over. I went in to DH who was with the screaming baby to work out who was going to finish downstairs and upstairs. DC1 would not stop talking. I eventually shouted and sent her to her room. This was followed by DH saying "well you could have done X earlier, why didn't you?" When I had been doing a ton of other jobs, one of them cleaning the bed linen after I bled all over it due to a heavy period. I ended up explaining myself then walking out crying went downstairs, threw an ornament at a picture on the wall... glass everywhere. I'm shocked at myself.
Nobody saw, DCs upstairs.
DH is shocked too.
Should I see the doctor?
How can I avoid losing it like this?
How could I have handled the situation better. I feel like running away, bit can't as I have to bf DC2 to sleep

You are tired, post partum, your dh sounds like a twat and you snapped. You know your actions aren't "normal" because you posted here.

Sit down with dd. Have a cuppa and talk it through with your dh. No shouting. No swearing. Just talk to him about how you are feeling. See where that takes you.

Ok, so not a great response but I'm sure we've all had our equivalents.

For me... DC1 was about 3, we were arguing over something I was trying to get her to do, she wouldn't, I continued to argue like she was a grown up and ever going to be able to calm the situation. I screamed at her, really screamed, she looked terrified, I immediately knew I'd lost control. Locked myself in the bathroom to calm down.

You broke something, yeah not good, but you didn't take it out on anyone. I still feel awful for that 4 years on.

I left that situation and learned from it, way way before we get to that point I calm us both down, say "ok let's speak to each other nicely" and talk it out. We still have fall outs but never like that since.

So my point... Talk to DH, find a way to recognise it early on, deal with it that way.

My other point... You are not alone. If there's a parent who hasn't reached breaking point out there they need to share the knowledge of how!

Both DH and I were mellow folk, then had kids. I surprised myself how cross I could get and how emotional. Also I felt selfish as I was sad about my freedom I'd lost. It passed, it took a while. I learnt to give myself permission to have a bad day. When it got too much I put my DC safe then took 5 mins out. Sometimes the chores get left so you get time to reset. It passed and you get into the flow again. Don't beat yourself up, just think about the way to give yourself a bit of breathing space.