Partner doesn’t want sex

[Lucy299]

Hey

Need to vent.. I’ve been with my partner for nearly two years at first it was great but we have been very up and down for a while now and we are always arguing.

I just don’t know if this is normal behaviour and not to sound sexist especially for a male.. when we first met we had sex every time we saw each other which was basically every night. But I would say maybe for almost the last year he doesn’t want to have sex but the bit I find the most strange is sorry for the tmi he wants to do foreplay instead ?? Such as oral etc. He really does not seem bothered one bit about sex I have brought this up with him and he just kinds brushes it off and says course he wants sex.

He does have chrohns disease which I have read can effect sex drive but I think that’s mainly if your on meds and I don’t think he is.. I asked him if it’s anythinr to do with that and he admitted he doesn’t have a high sex drive.. but why does he just want oral and not sex ? It’s strange to me.

Neither of us have children but I did get pregnant last year and for reasons I don’t really want to discuss I had to terminate the pregnancy.. it wasn’t planned and I don’t know if he’s now scared to have sex with me.. but tbh he was like this beflre I fell pregnant.

I don’t think there’s anyone else but I find this very strange.

Xx

Sex (the penetrative part) isn't always that fulfilling for some men...
At risk of sounding very contradictory to popular belief, some men love foreplay (giving every bit as much as receiving) and find that a hugely intimate and fulfilling part of making love...

So - if he's in that category, maybe it's been rushed in the past and he just wants to slow down and spend more time on foreplay? I'm talking hours, not minutes.

That might not be your thing of course, in which case you need to talk it through, but he might be a little fixated on this if it's something he feels he is missing out on.

Actually, I don't really like the term 'foreplay' (but most people understand that). I think it's love making whatever you do - so there's no 'fore' or 'after' it's just doing what you both want to do and there's no start of one thing or end of another (does that make sense?)

Not strange to me at all. We all like different things, men and women.

If it doesn't work for you then what compromises can you both find?

He may prefer oral, or he may be concerned about another pregnancy.
If he is stressed at the moment, that can kill sex drive stone dead, or he may be having an issue maintaining an erection, in which case oral is easier. How old is he? Sex every day is more than average I think.

What contraception are you using? Some people dislike condoms a lot.

he wants to do foreplay instead ?? Such as oral etc.

That is sex. Your title makes it sound like he didn't want to touch you! Oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation etc are all sex. It just sounds like he isn't crazy on sticking it in ya lately and if you really like that part, you'll need to firmly tell him so, but it might not be the thing he wants to be the end for him if you see what I mean