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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

His family

14 replies

Pockybot · 06/01/2019 09:30

STBX asked for contact with the baby today
I’ve organised it in my home for an hour
I could hear him ringing his parents
All happy jolly
Pretending like nothing is wrong
Like he didn’t walk out on me while pregnant for his affair partner

They are all just sticking his head in the sand

It would be so nice if on his contact time he would play with his daughter rather than ring his mother

Maybe I am overreacting but they are all acting like he has done nothing wrong

OP posts:
Original poster
Pockybot · 06/01/2019 09:32

*their heads

Probably I am overreacting
Feel a bit calmer now

It’s just really hard

OP posts:
grinchypants · 06/01/2019 09:40

Sorry to hear that op
How long ago did he leave

Original poster
Pockybot · 06/01/2019 09:46

Several months now

Any perspective welcome as I don’t know what to think

It hurt to hear all their voices chatting like nothing has happened
Inviting him and the children up

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 06/01/2019 09:49

The parents are probably embarrassed. Are you going to let them see the dc?

Original poster
Pockybot · 06/01/2019 09:50

True
They do see the eldest as X has regular contact with him and they all go out for days out

The youngest - still breast fed - I tried to involve them in the early months but they kind of lost interest

OP posts:
Original poster
Pockybot · 06/01/2019 09:51

Do you think it’s embarrassment?? Maybe. Thanks. Feel calm again.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 06/01/2019 09:52

Haven't you told them he left for the OW?

Babdoc · 06/01/2019 09:53

Maybe they were chatting on skype so they could all see DD, OP?

Original poster
Pockybot · 06/01/2019 09:53

Yes! They are sticking head in sand. Not speaking about it. Will ignore the issue. Very avoidant family.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pockybot · 06/01/2019 09:54

Babdoc - probably :-)

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 06/01/2019 10:06

Well, what can the parents do? It's happened and they certainly won't approve, but they want to stay on good terms with their ds. Maybe because if they fell out with him, they might not get to see their gdc at all! (Grandparents have no rights of contact!) Poor grandparents, poor you, poor dc. You're all victims here - just because he can't keep it in his pants.

Original poster
Pockybot · 06/01/2019 10:18

Thanks all

Lol that’s made me chuckle.

If they do feel that way, and I wish they would just say it to me openly.
(I used to be so close to them)
They have instead tried to blame me at times.

But I guess that’s just the way they are.

You are right - he is the one who has caused hurt to us all.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 06/01/2019 11:20

Maybe they think that you blame them?

Original poster
Pockybot · 06/01/2019 11:38

Maybe, don’t know. Need to think if it could come across like this to them.

OP posts:
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