Need advice is he being unreasonable and controlling???

[Daisydoo1234]

So I have been with my partner 9 years recently I have made a group of friends online I have been speaking to them daily for about 5 months on video call and messages on Facebook messenger most of them have traveled and had meet ups and I really want to go my partner is refusing to let me go and saying if I want to go then we’re over because if anything happens it would be his fault but if we’re not together he doesn’t care because we’re not together and it’s not his problem and that makes no sense to me the problem is because he’s being controllingy friends now don’t want to meet him he wasn’t invited because he isn’t a part of the reason we are all meeting no one else brings there partners because once again there partners are not a part of why we’re meeting we met on an app for making videos and that’s our thing not there’s but he’s insting that I cannot go there’s a lot more to the relationship we have both said we’re not happy but he’s now saying make a choice it’s me or them our family or them and trying to pin it all on me I can’t do anything he has said I can’t go on my phone to them or to do videos apart from a few hours on a Friday night it’s getting silly iv been happy to do what he wanted for 9 years I think I’m at the point I just want to rebel and push back I’m sick of being walked over

I would now end your relationship with your controlling partner and meet these people regardless. He sounds paranoid and acts more like your jailer than your partner. This has been your life and will be going forward too if you stay with him. Do you have children by this individual?.

Controlling behaviours like you describe from him are abusive behaviours. Controlling behaviour is really insidious in its onset and probably at the outset he was all seemingly sweetness and light. The red flags were there then too.

You know he’s being controlling OP so you don’t need to ask that question. He’s probably being unreasonable too. But he’s also being consistent - it’s a bad, unequal relationship and he doesn’t like you breaking out of it. So the advice:

• Find the full stop key
• Tell him you are going so it is over (his choice)
• Breathe

Meet your friends anyway you don't need his permission.

Very controlling :( sorry your going through that, i was ditch the husband go meet friends and do all the things YOU want to do.. for yourself. Live life for yourself because you only get one and the time goes quick.

we met on an app for making videos

Porn videos? Because that would change responses.

You wrote our family do you have children?