It’s a bit complicated. I’ve been with dh for 17yrs married for 10. We have twin boys aged 17.
To cut a long story short dh has been abusive verbally,he sulks a lot and on Xmas eve switched from being nice to horrific verbal abuse when I suggested he pay towards customs cost of present he ordered for one of the boys ( so he ordered the present from abroad but expected me to pay £30 customs cost 
). I was actually quite scared as I was driving and thought he might hit me. But he’s never done so far. This is just tip of a very large iceberg.
He doesn’t pay towards household bills, hasn’t done for over a year. He agreed to pay towards credit card debt I got into during a period of his unemployment. The problem is he pays small amounts in trickles when he feels like it. Most bills are in my name. We have a joint mortgage.
I have said to him that if he paid his full share of the bills I’d be able to pay off the debt myself.But having to pay all bills means I can’t afford to and my credit rating is rubbish too as I defaulted on a couple of payments.
This morning he said he’d pay some more towards the credit card if I give him a bj (I didn’t and we haven’t been intimate for over a year)
My question is should I cash in an insurance policy I have in my name only? It has 2 years to run before maturity and it would not only clear my credit card debt , improve my credit rating but would mean I’d have enough money for a rental property.
Not sure what the implications of this would be legally. I took the policy out before marrying him but during the marriage the premiums came out of the joint account for a few years.
If I don’t do this then I’m stuck with him and I’m feeling increasingly stressed.I find it hard to be motivated to do anything and seem to be wasting a lot of my time thinking about what he’ll do next.
I want to get out ASAP with the boys who won’t have much to do with him.
Feel very trapped at the moment. I briefly spoke to a lawyer about 6 months ago and he said to leave it for now, move out and get a separation in place. But I can’t unless I free up this money. He didn’t seem to get that ! I can’t afford more lawyer fees as I’m stretched already.
Should I worry that’s it might be seen as disposal of assets or just go for it, get away from him and worry about that later? At least I’d be free.
What would other MNetters do ?