I met my fiance when I was 18, nine years ago. He was my first boyfriend. Let's call him Bob.
About four years later, we were going through a bad patch. We argued all the time, and I became bored of making the 2 and half hour trip to see Bob when he made no effort whatsoever. The relationship became a chore.
I then went on holiday and befriended a local - let's call him MrX. We chatted, and went out as part of a group.The day before I went home, he told me he had feelings for me but I gently rejected him as I had a boyfriend at home, and I wasn't especially attracted to him. He was nice and friendly and I really liked his company, but I didn't fancy him.
But I kept in contact with MrX on social media, and we were skyping for hours every day. I began to have feelings through this, but looking back I think I liked the attention too. I had butterflies in my stomach whenever I spoke to him which I hadn't felt in a long time.
Meanwhile, things got worse with Bob. I went to see him once after I got back from holiday, but then stopped altogether, saying I needed a break. We spoke by text maybe once week, just to check the other way okay, but the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff stopped. Bob didn't seem particularly bothered that our relationship was effectively over, but at least the arguments stopped.
Four months later, I went back on holiday and saw MrX again. While I went with the same group I did before, I have to say the main reason for me was to see him again. When I saw him again, I realised I had built an image up in my head about him that weren't real, and maybe didn't fancy him afterall. But it was too late to back out - he had organised lots of trips, and booked hotel room (I did also have my own room too). I felt I couldn't say no after all this - I felt I had led him on.
But I did enjoy my time on these trips, but I knew in my head this holiday would be it. I returned home and we kept in contact, but a few months down the line he (MrX) told me he was seeing other girls and we agreed to be friends. However, one day he told me he was in huge financial difficulties and begged me for a loan. I eventually agreed, as he said he had nothing to even buy food, and I didn't like to think of a friend in trouble. As soon as I gave the money he started saying he loved me etc. A week later, he announced his relationship to another girl and I found the financial problems story to be a lie. I felt upset that my kindness had been used like that, and I believed that he was in problems. I haven't spoken to him in over 4 years now, and I never got the money back.
Meanwhile, I started talking to Bob more, and went to see him. We hadn't seen each other in about 7 months at this point, but we quickly reconciled and got back together. I did tell him briefly about MrX, but he didn't want to know the details.
This was years ago, but when it comes up, he believes we have been together 9 years and I cheated, whereas I believe we were on a break as we weren't even seeing each other. It's a grey area which is why I am posting here.