Period = No show from guy.

[VexedWW]

Started dating a guy around a month ago, all going well, so I thought... messages me nearly every day etc, see each other a couple of times a week.
Nothing sexual for the first 2 dates but we did sleep together on the 3rd & he's been coming over since.

I was supposed to be seeing him today for lunch then spend the afternoon together but I have come on my period this morning so I thought I'd better give him the heads up incase he was wanting sex (although I still wanted to see him either way) so I dropped him a text and he replied 'haha, oh no think il stay away'
Thought he was being sarcastic but actually just didn't show up!!!!

Wow!! I feel totally used now & a bit gutted as I'd actually started to like him.

Don’t know on this one.
He may have thought that you are warning him because you only see him as a FWB.
Seems like both of you might have assumed things instead of communicating openly.

You shouldn't have told him.

Maybe he now thinks you just wanted sex and that's why you let him know?

Deffo dump....

Can you imagine down the line getting caught out and asking him to pop out for some tampons.....

Like you said 12 year old boy mentality

You shouldn't have told him. He sounds young and silly, and certainly doesn't sound keen on you (unless sex is on the menu!)

Block. Next.

Wow,,not good. Just for info I'm a guy and i really dont need a "heads up" re a womans menstrual cycle as there is no expectation on my part that we will have sex. I dont need a warning the day before or anything.

There's always an expectation on my part ...😘

I've never had anyone refuse. I would dump them asap. I mean ... That's 25% of the time ruled out straight off

I’m afraid I also agree with the minority that actually it’s your message that’s mostly to blame here. Yes maybe a more mature response would have been to say no biggie, let’s just hang out anyway, but it does sound to me like it’s come across as a warning off from you.

Don't do that 'heads up' thing when you have your period. If a man doesn't want to see you because he may not be able to put his dick in you then he's an arse.

That’s all the more reason to give him advance warning. It allows you to discover he is an arse now rather than further into the relationship.

So basically he doesn't see a point of seeing you unless it's for sex. Plus doesn't fancy you enough to have sex with you on a period.
Lucky escape you had there.

Is it possible your message was unclear OP and he thought that you were inviting him to stay away?

I think he’s a massive nob for not wanting to see you because you’re on your period (there’s plenty of other stuff you could have done, or not done!), but I do think it was a bit odd to text him in advance if this is the start of a proper relationship as opposed to something that is just sex based.

You’ve definitely dodged a bullet though, I’m sorry he wasn’t what you hoped for.

When he said "haha oh I think I'll stay away".. what was your response to this?
If you went along with it either by laughing it off or jokingly agreeing, etc, then he might not be a bad guy as he may have thought you were genuinely trying to say you didn't want to hang out today.

IF you still insisted that you do want to meet still as your response and he didn't show up = bad guy.

If he genuinely wanted more than sex, the message would have made no difference.

But by the sounds of it, you've only had 3 actual dates, and then have fallen into the 'Netflix and chill' zone? So if there's no 'chill', there's no point, in his mind.

I think you were wanting different things, OP, and you were viewing him coming over as him becoming part of your domestic life, and he was viewing it as getting his leg over.

I'd suggest a longer dating period in future, so that you have longer to see what a person is like before letting them into your domestic set-up? That's not say you can't sleep with them as soon as you like, but don't let that mean you then give them an open welcome to your home. Carry on going out with them for a while, til you are sure they are on the same page (as in actions, not words).

Good luck for the future x

Why would you even tell him you were going to be on your period...😳 What a weird thing to say...sorry. He was probably embarrassed that you texted that and didn't know what to say....

Back to pornhub and death grip from him then

Why would you even tell him you were going to be on your period...😳 What a weird thing to say...sorry. He was probably embarrassed that you texted that and didn't know what to say....

I agree. I wouldn’t have texted him in advance and told him. If he’d come over and initiated sex and then you told him no cause of period then that’s different

I'm another one who thinks you shouldn't have told him in advance. At all. Too much information. He probably wasn't sure if you wanted to duck out of the date. You made it too much of a big thing by texting anyway. I wouldn't ditch him just because of this if things have been going well up to now. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

I dunno......I think maybe he got the impression you were trying to cancel politely, so went along with it. It was an odd thing to text tbh. Crossed wires maybe?

I'd give him another chance. If he's indeed the puerile idiot most posters believe him to be, you'll soon find out.

@ChristmasFluff one of my colleagues used the Netflix and Chill phrase to our boss a few months back. He had been signed off sick and had popped in to sort some stuff out so she advised him to go home, put his feet up and watch Netflix. She (and fortunately) he had no idea of the phrases connotations. Once he left we enlightened her and then promptly burst out laughing

What does Netflix and chill mean?

Neo - not what i originally thought!!

OP i would have read your message as "don't bother coming" maybe he did too?

OP do you think he may have thought you didn’t want him to come over?

Not nice. Move on, you're worth more.